


Mystery Spot Misunderstanding

by wolfish_willow



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bonding, Bottom!Sam, Break Up, Character Death, Claiming, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Happy Ending, Hurt Sam, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Marking, Nightmares, Possessive!Gabriel, Protective!Gabriel, Rating: NC17, Romance, Season 5 Spoilers, Sleep Deprivation, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000, top!Gabriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-21
Updated: 2010-10-22
Packaged: 2017-10-31 19:20:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 23,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/347519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfish_willow/pseuds/wolfish_willow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel reads Chuck's "Mystery Spot" and remembers all the horrible things he's done to Sam and decides to end it before Sam realizes they can never work together. Only Sam thinks the angel has decided he isn't worth the trouble. And Lucifer uses Sam's heartbreak to his advantage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AU from 5.14 - so all episodes after My Bloody Valentine are being totally and utterly disregarded. *nodnod*

  
Gabriel fingered the spine of the book held loosely in his hand. A tortured sigh escaped his lips as he opened it and flipped through the pages. He didn't know why he felt compelled to read through it again. He'd lived it - _created it_ , his mind whispered tauntingly. He'd been there himself, all those Tuesdays and the six months after that last Wednesday. All in the name of teaching Sam a lesson.  


  
He shook his head angrily as hazel eyes darted to read the detailed descriptions of what Sam went through all those months without Dean - the extra months he'd had to suffer through because Gabriel couldn't _actually_ be helpful. Couldn't bring himself to do something to actually get through the youngest Winchester's head. Instead he'd gone about it in a way he knew wouldn't help, but had seemed like the most amusing at the time.  


  
The book made a dull thud as he dropped it to the floor in disgust. How did he ever let himself fall so far away from who he truly was? He pushed open the plain curtains and looked out into the parking lot of the motel the Winchester's had chosen for the week. His eyes stared, unseeing, at the setting sun as he internally berated himself. He didn't even notice when he'd let the curtains fall to block him from the outside world once more.  


  
Nor did he notice the familiar rumble of the Impala or the motel door opening. What he did notice were the giant arms that wrapped themselves around his waist and the mop of hair that tickled the side of his face when Sam bent down to nuzzle his neck, a soft "Hey" being spoken into the pulse point. When normally any combination of those actions would have him smiling and nuzzling back - or smirking while he made a lewd comment - he couldn't bring himself to do either. Not when he'd just read the exact reason why none of that should be happening. Why he didn't deserve it.  


  
Sam tensed behind him when he failed to respond and he chided himself for missing the human's warmth when Sam slowly let go of him and took a step back. There was nothing he wanted more at that moment than to turn and pull his lover back to him, but he couldn't do it. There was no way he should have what they had.  


  
The air in the room became tense when no one did or said anything. It felt oppressive and something would have to give as it threatened to crush all of them. Gabriel turned his head in time to catch the meaningful look Sam gave Dean and averted his eyes to the small table standing at his left as Dean left the room. It wasn't until the Impala could no longer be heard that Sam gently turned Gabriel around to face him.  


  
"What's up?" he asked hesitantly, rubbing his hands gently down his arms and taking hold of Gabriel's hands, his thumbs rubbing over the backs of them soothingly. Hearing the concern in Sam's voice only made archangel angrier with himself.  


  
"What are we doing, Sam? I mean, who are we kidding here?" he asked, his voice low and cold.  


  
Sam's hands let go of his slowly and he watched as the human took a small step back. His - _not his, not anymore_ \- human's eyes widened as he took in the words.  


  
"What do you mean, Gabriel?" The man's voice shook, making him seem smaller in that moment. Gabriel watched as Sam shook his head slightly, as though hoping he heard wrong, hoping his ears would stop playing tricks on him.  


  
Gabriel smiled, though it didn't meet his eyes. This would be the hardest thing he'd done in a long time. Even harder than his final decision to join Team Free Will. But he didn't see any other choice he had. This couldn't last and Sam would have figured it out eventually, when he realized how wrong Gabriel was for him. How there was no way he should have tried to forgive him for all he'd put him through.  


  
"I'll keep helping, I promise that," he said, his voice unwavering. Had he been human, he knew his eyes would have been watering, and he was suddenly thankful that his emotions didn't always show themselves when he felt them.  


  
The silence around them grew deafening as they stood and stared at each other, waiting. Sam for Gabriel to explain and Gabriel for Sam to see what he saw, the reason this was for the best. The moment the meaning behind Gabriel's words was understood Sam's face crumbled. His slightly slanted, hazel eyes filled with water and his bottom lip quivered slightly. He took a step in Gabriel's direction.  


  
"What do you mean, Gabriel? Of course you're going to help us." he sniffled quietly, "What are you saying?"  


  
Gabriel sighed and forced a shrug, not allowing himself to react to the crushed look Sam wore. "We can't do this anymore. _I_ can't do this anymore. Like I said, I'll keep fighting with you, on your side. But this, you and me, it's gotta stop - "  


  
He was caught by surprise when Sam gripped his arms and shook him, "You don't mean that." His voice was still shaking and Gabriel could see him trying to blink the tears away before they started to fall. "Why are you saying this, Gabriel? What did I do? I can fix it, I can do whatever you want, just _why_ are you doing this?"  


  
Gabriel gathered himself once more, but didn't understand how Sam could think he did something wrong. It was nothing Sam had done, but what the Trickster had. Finding out what was passing through his mind wouldn't have been difficult for the archangel, but he was too afraid of what he would find swirling around in there. He hadn't realized how much Sam was leaning on him until he pulled back from his grasp and Sam stumbled forward, his boot hitting the book he had dropped to the floor.  


  
When Sam steadied himself he looked down at what he'd kicked. His eyes widened as he took in the title and he bent to pick it up. Gabriel avoided looking at Sam and the book, but he knew Sam was putting the pieces together.  


  
"Mystery Spot..?" he asked, sounding tired and defeated, "This is why you're saying this right? You found this and decided it sounded like a fun read?" Gabriel watched as Sam's eyes met his and almost took a step back from the look he was given. Sam no longer only looked crushed, but hateful. Gabriel knew the youngest Winchester would realize just how much they couldn't work. He'd just needed reminding of all that the Trickster had put him through. And now he was getting the reaction he had wanted, though it didn't hurt any less to see that hatred directed at him.., again. But now he had that, and Gabriel could leave.  


  
"Now you know why, it never would have worked..." he said before vanishing, the sound of feathers fluttering in his wake.  
  


***

Sam shook his head roughly after Gabriel left him alone in the room, his long bangs falling to cover his eyes. His grip on the book had tightened enough to curl the paperback around in his hand. He let out a long, shaky breath and tossed the book on the motel table before removing his outer clothes and climbing into the bed furthest from the door. When staring at the ceiling did nothing to help his train of thought he rolled onto his side and tried to ignore the fact that he was alone. That Gabriel wasn't there to help him sleep, that Gabriel had just left him because of how pathetic Sam had been. How he had failed to learn the lesson the Trickster had tried to teach him all those months before Dean's deal came due.  


  
He rolled over once more, facing the side of the motel with the curtained window and stared for a moment at the door before closing his eyes. He told himself that it wasn't that big a deal. They would win this war and then he would have proof that he could do something right. He didn't think about how much he'd come to lov- _care_ for the archangel. He couldn't feel a lump in his throat or a tightening in his chest. And he certainly didn't cry himself to sleep. Because only someone truly pathetic would do that. He kept telling himself this, even as he got the first taste of salt against his lips.  



	2. Chapter 2

Dean couldn't help but be surprised when, upon entering the motel room he saw Sam asleep on his bed. He pushed his way inside and closed the door as quietly as he could behind him before setting his keys onto the round table by the window. His eyes stayed on his younger brother as he thought about what could have gone on in the time he'd left him alone with Gabriel. Normally the archangel would have whisked the two of them off somewhere to be alone - hence why they still shared a motel room - or would be lying next to Sam while he slept, helping to keep Lucifer at bay. That had generally been the way of things since Gabriel had decided to join their side in this crazy war.

***

Lucifer had been plaguing Sam's dreams more and more after their run in with Famine. The demon blood had done a number on him and his defenses were lower than they'd ever been. Even after he'd gotten all of the stuff out of his system, Dean saw how worn down he'd become, if the purple smudges under his eyes were any indication. His brother was shaky, almost paranoid whenever he was awake. And if he'd seemed frightened during the day, it only became worse whenever they'd be ready to sleep.

But it seemed someone had been listening to Dean's desperate plea out in the junkyard, even if they didn't show up that night. He'd been nearly ready to just give up, say 'yes' if only to fill the horrible emptiness he'd felt inside and keep his Sammy from having to suffer through any more crap that he didn't deserve when they'd been trying so hard to move past things. Thankfully he'd realized that doing so would only make things worse. If nothing else, it would give Lucifer more to use as incentive for Sam. And he knew he couldn't leave his brother alone, not in the state he was in. So he'd turned back and waited just outside the panic room's door until Sam's system had gotten back to normal - as normal as it _could_ be, considering. 

Nothing had happened for days. Him and Sam had stayed at Bobby's to allow for Sam to get back to full strength. Bobby kept them busy, looking through some of the more obscure books he had scattered throughout his house. They never found anything new, that they hadn't read about already, but it kept them busy. Helped keep their thoughts away from Sam's newfound skittishness and his own guilt over nearly letting Michael have him. But then Sam's nightmares had started up again, worse than they'd been probably since he'd had visions all the way back when all they'd had to worry about was old Yellow Eyes. 

Dean felt himself growing more and more desperate as the days and nights dragged on, because at least when it was visions Sam told him what he was seeing. But Sam wouldn't tell him anything about what was happening to him every night. And Dean couldn't do anything to help it stop. Not without saying 'yes' and even then, he didn't think they would keep their side of any bargain he made for Sam. They'd find some sort of loophole. So he was stuck. Until one day when Bobby had taken Sam out of the house. They were running low on food and his younger brother was acting more restless from being stuck in one place than Dean normally was. He thought it had something to do with how he had been stuck in the panic room for days. And the fact that they weren't leaving the house yet. 

Dean and Castiel were sitting in the kitchen, both staring intently at their own books when they each heard a familiar sounding snap. They both looked up to see Gabriel leaning back against the counter casually, as though he was a normal visiter of theirs. Dean's eyebrows had practically disappeared into his hairline and Castiel tilted his head to the side curiously. Gabriel stared at them both, amusement shining in his eyes as he took in each of their expressions. When Dean had finally gotten over the shock of having an archangel in Bobby's kitchen his brow furrowed and he stood slowly. 

"What the hell are _you_ doing here? Haven't you screwed with us enough?" 

Gabriel put his hand over his heart dramatically, "Easy there, Deano. Keep talking like that and I might start to think you don't like me." 

Dean couldn't help but roll his eyes at that, because yeah. He really wasn't one of the Trickster's biggest fans. 

"I'll ask again, what the hell are you doing here?" 

"I just couldn't stay away," he said, before his smirk fell away, giving way to a serious expression rarely present on his face - _unless he's trying to get you to 'play your roles'_ , Dean thought grimly. 

"I'm about as happy with that as you are, bucko." he continued, and Dean realized he probably read his thoughts, seeing as how angels were able to do crazy things like that. He glared some more with that thought, until Gabriel's words sunk in. 

"Wait, what?" 

"I said I'm about as happy with that whole little episode as you are, bucko," Gabriel repeated slowly, drawing it out as though Dean was a five year old. 

"Little episode? You got me shot! And you turned Sam into a car! And sent Castiel who knows where! I wouldn't call that a 'little episode'" he finished his last words with air quotes. 

"Are you done?" Gabriel asked condescendingly. 

Dean opened his mouth to say more, but stopped when he felt Castiel's hand on his arm. He turned to see the look the angel's clear blue eyes sent his way, mainly telling him to shut up and listen to whatever the archangel had to say. Dean huffed but turned back to Gabriel and gestured for him to start talking. If nothing else, he figured the guy hadn't tried tricking them yet and he hadn't needed to show himself to them. So maybe he had something helpful to say. Though he found that doubtful. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes and lifted himself so that he was sitting on top of the counter. "Thanks so much for the recap, by the way. Because, you know, I was having trouble recalling all the things I did to you boys," he remarked, each word heavy with sarcasm. 

It was Dean's turn to roll his eyes, but he wisely didn't say anything. 

Gabriel sighed and the air in the kitchen was suddenly thick with tension as he spoke, "I thought a _lot_ about what you said when you pulled that damn alarm. And as much as it pains me to say this, and it truly does pain me to, you were right. I _could_ have done something a hell of a lot sooner to bring this whole business to a stop. And there were probably more conducive ways of going about it than turning Sam into a car, even if he did make a sweet ride..." he trailed off for a moment before shaking his head slightly and looking from Dean to Castiel, "I've certainly made my share of mistakes. And I'm not happy about the part I've played so far. Being a Trickster has been fun and all, don't get me wrong. But you blockheads had to go and remind me of who I was." 

He paused. Dean had no idea what to make of what the archangel was saying. Because it almost sounded like he was apologizing, and it didn't make any sense to him. The guy had been a nuisance since they'd first met him, and _now_ he was feeling like he could have done more to help? But once more, he kept his mouth shut. His gaze shifted to Castiel whose piercing eyes never left Gabriel. Dean had a feeling he was searching for any signs that he was holding something back, or trying to pull another fast one on them. He looked back at Gabriel when the identity-confused Archangel spoke again. 

"So I changed my mind. I'm here to offer my services to you boys. Because you _will_ be needing some extra power around here, pretty soon. There are still two horsemen out there you are gonna have to deal with sooner or later and I may be able to help you out." 

Dean blinked, his brow furrowed. He felt like if he didn't close his mouth, there was a definite danger of his jaw ending up on the floor. So he did, only to open it immediately after, "Why?" 

"Why what, Deano?" Gabriel replied, too casual to calm Dean's nerves. 

"Why the sudden change of heart?" he asked. He wouldn't admit it out loud, and he really hoped the guy wasn't in his head again, but he really wanted to believe him. They _did_ need the help. And having an archangel on their side could definitely tip the scale in their favor. But he'd learned in the past that good things just didn't happen to the Winchesters. Bobby and Cas were the two things that they could count on, everything and everyone else tended to cause them more pain and grief down the way. And the Trickster had caused quite a lot of both for them, for _Sam_ in the past. 

Nothing was said for some time, though Dean could tell Gabriel was choosing which words to use - he just wasn't sure whether that was a good or a bad thing. 

"I saw what Sam did to Famine. And I heard you calling for help," he replied, ignoring the way Dean bristled at having been seen by anyone at his moment of weakness, "I knew that even with all that was happening you weren't going to say 'yes'. You weren't going to leave your little brother," his eyes cut to Castiel before refocusing on Dean, "nor mine alone in this. And if Sam could say 'no' to Famine, even with the demon blood in his system, and a whole group of demons for the taking, I don't imagine he'll find it hard to keep saying 'no' to Lucifer. So I can't help but see a glimmer, even if it is a bit smaller than I'd like, of hope for the world. And that small bit might grow if you've got someone with real power on your side." He shrugged his shoulders and adopted his familiar amused smirk again, "Besides, if humans aren't around anymore who am I going to mess with? Believe me, neither Heaven nor Hell have much in the way of a sense of humor." 

"You've been following us?" Dean asked, incredulous, "Why were you following us? Why not just get back with handing out 'just desserts'?" 

Gabriel heaved a put upon sighed, as though Dean was missing something obvious, "Like I said before, you chuckleheads reminded me of who I am. As much as I'd like to go back to messing with douchebags who deserve to be taken down a peg, it would be a little more difficult to ignore the Apocalypse as easily as I had before. And besides..," his voice got quiet, like he hoped no one would hear his last words, "I owe you one. And I don't like having unsettled debts." 

At Dean's questioning look he added, "Remember what you said to me then? 'Don't say I never did anything for you.' You let me out of that circle. There wasn't anything stopping you from keeping me there. You had a hell of a lot of reasons to _want_ to keep me there, and you still turned the sprinklers on. I figure helping you guys out will make us even." 

There had been more questions asked and answers given, but in the end Castiel had stood and made it clear to Dean that they should accept the archangel's help. And if Cas thought he was trustworthy enough to keep around, then Dean would give him a chance. Since then everything had been working well. It took a bit of doing to get Sam on board with the new member of Team Free Will, but eventually he'd admitted that having someone that powerful on their side would be immeasurably helpful. 

They all saw how his younger brother's slightly slanted eyes would stay fixed on Gabriel whenever he was around - just waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it never happened. And somehow the two had ended up together. Dean still wasn't entirely sure how they got started - he suspected there was probably chocolate of some sort involved - but he hadn't seen Sammy as happy as he'd been with Gabriel for a long time. He trusted the second angel in the group, and he wasn't nearly as worried about his brother when those two were together as he'd originally thought he'd be. 

***

So there was a reason he was caught off-guard when he walked in to find Sam alone in his bed. But he pushed any thoughts on it aside while unlacing his shoes and getting out of his over clothes. Gabriel had probably just gone to Castiel, wherever he was. Gabriel still wasn't convinced that they'd find God somewhere, but he was willing to help his little brother out. It was one of the reasons that Dean had come to trust the archangel. He saw the same protectiveness in Gabriel for Castiel that he had himself for Sam. So he laid down in his own bed, closest to the door, and fell asleep moments after his head hit the pillow, not noticing the tear tracks across his brother's face nor how he had started to twitch in his sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

"Did you really think I would want to keep you around?" the angel asked scathingly as he walked around the shaking figure on the ground. 

Sam lifted his head up slowly to peer at the man circling him. He let his head fall back to the hard ground as he tried willing his body to stop shaking. But it wouldn't listen to him. He was too busy reacting to the harsh words being spat at him. The words he knew were true, that he deserved to hear. 

"Didn't you ever wonder why I wouldn't even _consider_ marking you, claiming you like Castiel did with Dean? I know you think about it. Want it," Gabriel continued, pushing Sam flat against the ground and straddling his hips, "You know I know. And you realize the reason now, don't you? The reason I can't?" his voice mockingly caring as he brushed the hair off Sam's forehead gently, like all the times he had before when soothing him. 

Sam wished he could block everything around him out, even as he pushed up against the fingers at his head. He didn't understand why he couldn't just be left alone. Why Gabriel insisted on reminding him of it. He thought it would be done, over with. The archangel was the one who ended what they had, there didn't seem to be a reason for this. He already knew how pathetic he was. That he was a screw-up. But he kept hearing the man he loved mocking him, felt his familiar weight on top of him. 

"I had hoped I would be able to forget all that you had done," Gabriel said, his tone losing its mocking edge. He sounded so sincere. And it was made so much worse when he felt the archangel's fingers start to card through his hair just the way he would when Sam and him would just lay together in bed after some of their more stressful hunts. He leaned into the touch instinctively and a contented sigh escaped his lips before he could think when the angel's other hand found its way under his shirt, pressed directly over his left hip. 

"I would have marked you right here." 

The angel pressed down against Sam's hip painfully, causing him to try arching away. As he tried to pull himself away, Gabriel gripped his hair tight enough to rip it out. 

"Stop moving, Sammy," his voice deceptively soft, in contrast with the hand tugging his head up enough to pull him from his spot on the ground - the fingers of his other hand gripping torturously at his hip. He gasped in pain, but stopped moving away from the other man. There was no stopping the tears that fell down his cheeks as his once-lover roughly dragged him to his feet. 

Suddenly Gabriel was thrown back, hitting the ground with a _thump_. Sam had almost been taken down with him, but someone grabbed his arm gently before he could fall to the ground - thankfully Gabriel had released the grip on his hair before falling. The archangel appeared dazed as he shook his head slowly before moving to get up. 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, brother." 

Sam whipped his head around so fast he wouldn't be surprised if he'd ended up with whiplash. There, holding his arm, stood Lucifer. The look on his face was one different to what he'd worn with Sam before. His eyes were hard and angry as he looked at Gabriel and Sam pulled his arm from the devil's grasp, taking a step away from both angels. 

Lucifer turned to look at Sam and as his eyes fell on the young hunter his gaze softened. Then Sam woke up. 

Sam bolted up in bed, his eyes wide and scared. He ran a hand slowly through his hair, checking for any of the soreness from having his hair pulled at so roughly but found that it felt fine. He lowered his hand and placed it over his heart, willing his breathing to slow down to a normal level while his eyes took in his surroundings. 

The room was still dark, but the beginnings of morning were starting to peek their way through the closed curtains. Dean was lying on his stomach, dead to the world and snoring softly. Sam sighed in relief - the last thing he needed was his brother seeing him like that. He shook his head to clear the cobwebs of sleep that still remained before getting off his mattress. He stood for a moment, staring at his bed, trying to remember what had woken him up. When no answers jumped out at him he grabbed some clothes from his duffel and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind him. 

Flipping the light switch on, he started at his own reflection in the mirror. He looked awful. There were dark, deep circles under his eyes. Dried tear-tracks streaked his cheeks and his eyes were red and puffy from the crying. Then it all came back to him. Him coming back with Dean to find Gabriel, Gabriel breaking up with him for being so pathetic, then falling asleep crying. 

He shook his head in disgust while taking in his features. While he turned on the sink and splashed the icy water on his face the rest of the night came back to him. Gabriel reminding him of why they couldn't work, how worthless he was. He kept remembering even as he stepped into the shower to try and clean up. There was no getting rid of how he felt inside, but he could make himself presentable enough to not worry Dean. 

It wasn't until he was running his fingers through his hair, rinsing out the shampoo, that the rest of it hit him. He blinked away fresh tears and set a hand gently against his left hip as he remembered Gabriel pressing against him so painfully. How he grabbed him by his hair and pulled him to his feet. How Gabriel fell to the ground and another arm held him up. How he turned and saw Lucifer standing there... 

He gasped and rushed to turn the water off; the steamy air around him all of a sudden too oppressive, making it hard to take in breath. Lucifer had been there. It had all been a nightmare. Of _course_ he was there. The only one left to care about the ex-demon blood junkie was the devil. No wonder Gabriel had dumped him. But if it was all a nightmare, maybe it hadn't been Gabriel at all... But Lucifer had told him not to get up, called him brother. 

By the time Sam finished getting dressed he was no closer to knowing what was real or not. But he risked another glance in the mirror. There were still faint rings under his eyes, but it wasn't any worse than what they all normally had with the apocalypse raging around them. Color had returned to his cheeks and his eyes looked like he'd just finished a shower rather than that he'd been crying all night. As prepared as he could be to face his brother as though nothing was wrong, he exited the bathroom. Dean was still sleeping, though he had started to stir; he would probably wake up soon. Sam sat with his back against the wall and booted up his laptop - he had nothing better to do than research while waiting for his brother to wake and the rest of the day to begin. 


	4. Chapter 4

The diner wasn't anything special, considering how many they'd seen in all their time spent on the road. It wasn't very busy that morning and there were plenty of booths to choose from. The brothers walked in and sat at a booth towards the front by the large window, keeping the Impala in Dean's direct line of sight. Dean watched as Sam stood for a second longer than usual, like he wasn't sure where to sit. He raised his eyebrow in a silent question, but Sam never made eye contact. After his brief hesitation, he shook his head and scooted into the seat across from Dean, the window on his left side.

Dean couldn't help but notice the way Sam fidgeted with his napkin while they sat and waited for their angels. He didn't know what was going on with his brother. He'd been acting strange since they got up that morning - _for a couple days longer than that_ , if Dean was honest with himself. It wasn't anything major, but Sam seemed more on edge than he'd been for weeks. That, on top of how Sam didn't seem to have gotten much rest, had Dean more than a little confused. He shrugged any worries about it off. They'd just found a relatively easy hunt nearby - they needed a break from the Apocalypse once in a while - and even in Sam's current state, Dean was sure they'd be able to solve it quick. And Sam had an archangel watching out for him. He was just being paranoid. 

***

Had Gabriel been feeling more like himself, he probably would have rolled his eyes when he and Castiel found the Winchester brothers. Or rather, when he saw where they had seated themselves. Of course Dean would choose a spot _right next_ to his precious Impala. Unfortunately, he just didn’t have it in him to find much mirth in anything at the moment.

He'd flown off to join Castiel in his search for their father after leaving Sam. He didn't think he'd find God out there, but he needed something to keep his mind off the shake in Sam's voice when he had first gotten back, and that painful look in his eyes when he'd realized the truth about them. He couldn't handle remembering that, so he'd gone to the only one he could at the time. And if Castiel had noticed anything off with him, he thankfully didn't say anything. It just wasn't something he was ready to talk about yet. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to visit the Winchester brothers in days. But if he avoided them forever, even someone as dense as Dean might be able to figure out something was wrong. Besides, then he wouldn't be able to help stop the Apocalypse, and if he wanted to continue avoiding Sam for an eternity, he would have to work to fix what the other angels started first. 

***

Dean looked up when he heard the diner's door opening. He stifled a relieved sigh at the sight of the two angels walking into the restaurant. _Finally, someone to talk to who might actually talk back_ , he thought excitedly. Trying to talk to Sam for the last week had been like trying to talk to a brick wall. He grinned as Castiel sat next to him and almost missed the way Gabriel hesitated for a split second before taking his seat next to Sam.

It was an odd thing to witness. They'd been using the same seating arrangement since the former Trickster decided to join their side, and it had been used many times to make Dean uncomfortable while Gabriel and Sam acted all lovey-dovey, practically cuddling together in the booth. So for both of them to be hesitant in the same morning was beyond strange. Before Dean could think on it for too long, though, Castiel broke the heavy silence at the table, reminding all of them about the ghost hunt they had gotten together to discuss in the first place. And, honestly, Dean was glad to move onto something normal for a change - or something less complicated than his brother's relationship with an archangel. 

***

The hunt itself was even easier than they had all originally anticipated. Gabriel had decided to stick around and see how a typical salt and burn was done, Winchester-style. And he knew he was horrible, and that he was the one who broke things off with Sam, but the prospect of seeing the younger Winchester, muscles flexing and all sweaty from digging - well, he just couldn't pass _that_ opportunity up.

Fortunately, he'd gotten to see all of that. Though somehow Sam seemed thinner than normal. Which he knew was crazy, because he'd only been avoiding him for a week and there was no way that the hunter could have lost weight in that amount of time. Of course, his mind had been thoroughly distracted soon after seeing Sam's thinner-looking - _but not actually thinner, because that was crazy_ \- frame when the brothers got to digging. And then he couldn't turn his gaze away from how the material over Sam's arms bunched each time he bent his elbow, or pushed into the dirt, or even wiped the sweat from his brow. He'd become so involved in watching Sam, that he hadn't noticed the spirit coming up to them until Dean shouted out. 

All of their worry had been for nothing, though. As it turned out, the only reason the ghost had been aimlessly wandering was because he was trying to find a specific grave. Gabriel didn't think he'd ever get over it, even had the urge to roll his eyes at just how _hopelessly romantic_ it all was. Somehow, this man and his wife had ended up buried in different sections and long story short, they'd just had to work out a way of getting the bodies together. 

So, yes, the hunt had been a whole lot easier than they'd originally thought. But something irked Gabriel afterwards. The way the ghosts had looked at him. The way they'd looked at _Sam_. Almost sad, and somehow _knowing_. And if that wasn't bad enough, they seemed to have decided there was something wrong with his - the human, something that he apparently didn't know about. Not that they clued him in on what it was. _Freaking cryptic ghosts_ , he thought with distaste. 

He sighed as he sat back against the headboard of the bed Sam would more than likely be sleeping on when the Winchesters made it back to their motel – _those Winchesters and their predictability_ , he thought with a small huff of laughter. Gabriel had flown back, needed to work out what was going on. Because he watched the ghosts the entire time they watched Sam (though they seemed less cryptic than unnervingly silent, he supposed). And it just didn't seem right. The spirits weren't evil, weren't even all that angry. So he was sure they weren't trying to mess with his head, but nothing was adding up. 

Shaking his head, he rolled onto his side, resting his head against the flimsy pillow. The woman had put her hand on Sam's shoulder, as though trying to comfort him, reassure him of something. And Sam had looked... There was something going on there, behind his eyes. Something he was keeping locked away. Maybe with all of his avoidance he'd missed something important - which, okay, yeah, the whole point of avoiding is to miss events and actions of the Person you're avoiding, but _still_. How could he have missed something in the matter of a _week_? 

Gabriel sat up, a determined expression replacing the thoughtful one he wore moments before. His brow furrowed slightly, lips a thin line as he pushed off the bed and waited by the window, keeping an eye out for the Winchester's return. He'd obviously missed something, something important. And if he was going to find out what it was, he'd just have to stick around and keep an eye on Sam. No matter how much it hurt, knowing he couldn't have what he wanted.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam was more than ready to just sink into the lumpy mattress of the motel they were using this week. After that hunt he felt even more on edge. How could a pair of ghosts read him well enough to know something was wrong? He knew he wasn’t masking his issues as well as he’d wanted to, but it was a little difficult to act normal in waking life when you weren’t sure if it was the Devil messing with your head in your sleep or your former Trickster ex-boyfriend who thinks you’re pathetic. So, sure he’d been a little shaky and nervous – that was just his body’s way of reacting to very little restful sleep. But the spirits seemed as though they’d figured it all out with just one look. And what was he supposed to do with that?

He shook his head as the Impala kept up its steady rumbling on the drive to their motel. Dean hadn’t said anything about his change in behavior so far, even though Sam could tell that his silence was annoying his brother. Dean may not be very talkative over emotions, but he wasn’t one for quiet on multi-hour drives across the country. Even when their relationship had been rocky, Dean liked to talk about random topics just to pass the time. Unfortunately, Sam just hadn’t been up for much talking unless it was about whatever case they were looking into. If he started talking, he was afraid he’d let slip what was going on, and he really didn’t need to bother Dean with more of his crap. His brother put up with enough from him as it was. And it wasn’t like there was anything Dean could do about Gabriel breaking up with his little brother. Or about the strange nightmares that had been going on since. If Sam couldn’t figure out if they were real when he was the one experiencing them, how could he expect Dean to do any different? 

So he tried to push all of his problems aside, brush them off. It wasn’t working very well, but he hoped since Dean wasn’t saying anything, maybe it was enough for his brother to pass off as ‘brooding’ or however Dean loved to describe his behavior. But the ghosts had seen right through him; the woman had even put her hand on his shoulder. It had been almost comforting, in a way, to have someone care enough to show that bit of reassurance, but it also brought forward everything he’d been trying to push back – his memories of every night since Gabriel broke up with him. 

Before, he would have just gone to Gabriel when something was bothering him, weighing on him this much. But with that no longer being an option, it felt nice to have someone notice him; pay him attention without hurting him or putting him down (and without being the devil). The whole situation just made his head hurt. He pressed his forehead against the cool glass of the window beside him and closed his eyes. 

_Sam took another step back when Lucifer started towards him. He was in a nightmare, that much was clear – and really, it was a relief, because that meant that maybe it_ wasn’t _actually Gabriel who was hurting him before. His mind couldn’t wrap around everything; he wasn’t sure what was going on. Everything felt off and he didn’t know what to make of what had just happened._

_What Sam_ was _sure of was that Gabriel had broken up with him – didn’t want to have to put up with someone like Sam, who was just a screw-up that never listened, never learned. Why did he think things would be any different with Gabriel, really? When had things ever gone the way Sam_ wanted _them to go? Never. Everything ended – and not just ended, but ended miserably._

_Sam paced back and forth slowly as he thought about how he could fix this. Fix everything. He would have kept pacing right until he woke up had Lucifer not stood in front of him, reminding Sam of his presence. And really? Things weren’t bad enough in his waking life? Now somehow Lucifer had found a way back into his head, too? It was just one more thing to remind him of how horrible he really was._

_Sam was just so tired of messing things up, tired of people leaving him and hurting him, just tired. He ignored the devil in front of him and found a wall in his dreamscape – that looked like pretty much every motel the Winchesters had ever stayed in – and leaned back into it, sliding to the ground. He wrapped his arms around his legs and laid his forehead against his knees. Closing his eyes and breathing deeply, Sam hoped to be able to just ignore the devil – he snorted a laugh at himself with that thought – and just rest after his encounter with Gabriel. Because he really needed to rest, he wasn’t sure how much longer his body and mind could take all the stress._

_He meant to move away from the fingers that started softly carding through his hair, he really did. But his body was exhausted and Sam couldn’t deny that it felt good to have someone soothe away the soreness of his scalp left from Gabriel’s tight grip. Instead of pulling away, he found himself leaning into the fingers that slowly slid down his head to rest gently, a welcome weight at his neck._

_Then everything started coming back to him. Sam wasn’t sure why it took him so long to get over the disorientation he felt after Lucifer got Gabriel to let him go, but it did. Every night so far, even though he_ knew _before he went to sleep where his mind would end up, he still reacted like he had the first night. Only now, Sam didn’t push Lucifer away and avoid him until he finally woke up. It just wasn’t worth the effort. Unfortunately, it all served to further confuse Sam, especially when he started pushing back against Lucifer’s hand at his neck or in his hair. Apparently his body was so starved of physical contact, the kind that_ didn’t _hurt, that he was willing to take it even if it came from the devil._

_He wanted to believe more than anything that this was all some trick of Lucifer’s to get him to say ‘yes’. But the devil never said more than a few murmured words of comfort into his ear while Sam stayed curled into himself against the wall. Nothing made sense when he was here. He_ knew _he needed to get as far from Lucifer as possible, he really did know that. And he knew that it had to be some sort of trick. But how Gabriel kept ripping at him, spouting out how pathetic Sam was, how he was worth so little? How Gabriel mocked Sam’s desire to have been marked by the archangel? Well, all that made it harder and harder to believe that it_ wasn’t _Gabriel doing all of this to him. Made it harder to believe that Lucifer wasn't chasing Gabriel off, protecting Sam. And okay, that was weird. Didn’t it used to be the other way around?_

_Eventually it all became too much and Sam yanked his head out of Lucifer's grasp, once more convincing himself that it_ had _to be a trick. And even if Gabriel_ was _in on it, he couldn't let himself be comforted by Lucifer. No matter how much more disturbingly tempting it was becoming after each night of torment. And it was tempting, to have someone caring, someone to go to when everything got to be too much for him once again. Then, just when he feared he might give in to that horrible need for comfort, feared that he might not be able to wake up this time, just like he'd feared every night, he woke with a start..._

It didn’t take them long to get to the motel after Sam closed his eyes. When he opened them and saw the neon sign blinking he couldn’t help but be relieved, even if the light _did_ aggravate his headache some. But they were finally parked in front of their room and he could go and burrow into the old mattress. At this point, he wasn’t even nervous about whatever nightmares he might have to face, he just needed sleep. Sam had to try and act _normal_ at breakfast that morning with Gabriel sitting right next to him. And on top of dealing with compassionate ghosts who freaked him out, the archangel had decided to ‘tag along’. 

After being watched by the angel the whole time he worked with Dean, he was pretty much ready to believe, as much as the idea hurt, that maybe it was Gabriel messing with him every night. He’d been holding out, convincing himself that maybe Lucifer broke past the defenses Gabriel had set up, was trying to mess with his head by trying to comfort him every night after Gabriel hurt him. But if that were the case, then wouldn’t Gabriel have had to lower the defenses himself somehow? The thought alone made him shiver. 

Thankfully, Dean had already made his way to the motel room and didn’t notice. Sam shook himself. He only needed to act like he wasn’t freaking out for a couple more minutes. Just long enough for him and Dean to get ready for bed. Then he’d be able to sink into his bed and try to have a peaceful sleep. 

***

The silence on the drive back to their motel bothered Dean more than he cared to admit. Sam was locked somewhere in his head again – Dean had learned earlier in the week that trying to strike up a conversation with Sam did nothing but make him crazy and frustrated. So he was stuck driving with no one to talk to. He wasn’t even in the mood to deal with his music. He’d thought that with the hunt being easier than anything they’d had to deal with, even before the whole Apocalypse debacle, that maybe Sam would have been shaken out of whatever weird funk he’d been in the last week. Because Dean had been able to ignore it - allowed himself to be distracted by Castiel and this hunt - but he had nothing to take his attention away from it now. If Dean didn’t know his brother the way he did, he’d think Sam was just in one of his bitchy, emo moods. But he _did_ know his brother better. And as much as he’d wanted to be annoyed with Sam for acting that way, he couldn’t deny that his brother was messed up over something. He just wished he could figure out what it was.

When they’d finally made it to the motel and Dean stepped out of the Impala, he noticed Sam didn’t follow him out of the car immediately. Dean looked back once to see Sam just sitting there. He’d never admit that trying to deal with Sam’s new moodiness tired him out – but it did. He was looking forward to getting ready for bed, because even though their hunt wasn’t all that difficult, especially compared to the Apocalypse, his brother’s attitude was stressing him out. And as much as he wanted to help Sam, he wouldn’t be any good to him strung out. That would just cause Dean to snap at Sam and cause his little brother to clam up even further. 

Dean waited until Sam got out of the car before turning the key in the lock. He let Sam walk past him and into the room – the faster Sam got to sleep, the better in his opinion. The kid looked dead on his feet. He walked in right after Sam, shutting the door behind him and locking it. He didn’t feel like dealing with anyone else. But when he turned, his shoulders sagged at the sight of one Trickster-turned-Archangel sitting on the edge of his brother’s bed. Sighing, he ran his hand through his hair. Even though he didn’t want to deal with any more crap, he hoped that the presence of Sam’s angel could help bring him out of his funk. But when his gaze shifted from Gabriel to Sam he finally noticed how tense his brother had gotten. And how he was standing only a step ahead of Dean. If Dean had decided to walk all the way into the room, he would have barreled straight into his Sasquatch of a little brother. 

Brows furrowed, Dean looked from Sam to Gabriel – who hadn’t taken his eyes off the youngest Winchester - back to Sam. Finally, he decided that his brother could wait until later and turned once more to the archangel. “Whatever it is, can’t it wait until tomorrow? We need sleep sometime, dude,” he asked tiredly. 

Gabriel’s focus finally turned to Dean. He stood from the bed, opened his mouth and Dean _really_ hoped he would be quick about whatever the hell he needed to tell them because he just wanted to sleep and deal with the world in the morning. But before any words passed the archangel’s lips Sam spoke, though Dean couldn’t help but be surprised at how small his little brother’s voice sounded. 

“I’m… just… gonna… bathroom…” he muttered, his words barely audible before he practically ran into the bathroom, his movements as tense as Dean had ever seen as he passed Gabriel. Dean braced himself for the slam of the door, with how fast his brother had run in there. Dean thought it might have been worse that Sam closed it with no more than a soft ‘ _snick_ ’. 

Dean closed his mouth when he realized he’d been gaping at the door and turned back to Gabriel. It took him a moment to notice that Gabriel looked as confused as he felt when Sam locked himself into the bathroom. He took a step back from the angel – didn’t even realize he’d been practically nose-to-nose with him – and tried to control his breathing. Freaking out and losing his temper, with an _archangel_ especially, wasn’t going to get him anywhere. And really, he needed to focus and try to figure out what the _hell_ was going on with everyone this week. 

“What the hell did you do to my brother?” he growled. 


	6. Chapter 6

Sam felt every one of his muscles tense when he saw Gabriel sitting on _his_ bed in their motel room. Especially after he heard Dean close the door behind them. Why hadn’t he let Dean go in first? Why did he have to shove past his brother? If he’d just come in after Dean, he could have turned around after he caught his first glimpse of Gabriel and run and run and run and he wouldn’t be _trapped_ between his brother and his boyfr- _ex-boyfriend_ who may or may not have been torturing him in his head for a _week_.

He hoped Dean hadn’t seen the way he'd started at his brother’s voice – he’d almost thought he was asleep and dreaming again, so he couldn’t be blamed if he was surprised to hear a voice other than Gabriel’s or Lucifer’s. Sam watched as Gabriel stood from his bed– _God, why was Gabriel in his bed? Why did he feel the need to mess with Sam so badly?_ – and prepared to speak. He didn’t think he could handle whatever might come out of the angel’s mouth, and if this wasn’t a dream – and if he couldn’t get through his brother and out the main door – then he could at least put one door between himself and Gabriel. Sam didn’t even know what words left his mouth before he bolted for the bathroom, carefully closing and locking the door behind him. His reaction to Gabriel in front of his brother was bad enough; he didn’t need to slam the door closed. If he’d done that then Dean would have just rushed over and probably broken it down trying to get to him. And really, the only thing keeping Sam the least bit sane right then was having that barrier between himself and the angel. 

Everything seemed tilted to him. Sam gripped the edges of the counter, unable to avoid looking at his reflection in the mirror. His face was deathly pale; he hadn’t realized he’d started sweating until he saw the wet-looking fringes of his bangs sticking to his forehead. _Everything is so messed up_ , he thought, shaking his head and running the water in the sink. Outside the little room where he’d locked himself away, Sam heard his brother say something to the archangel. And he sounded angry. Maybe Gabriel was the one getting into his head; maybe his brother was upset because the angel was bragging about all the damage he’d caused. The thought didn’t stay in his head – and really, that was a good thing because if he let himself _truly_ believe that Gabriel could hurt him after what they’d had he was pretty sure he’d start sobbing – because he couldn’t hear Gabriel saying anything yet. If the angel wanted to boast about everything, Sam was sure he’d hear that same, cruel voice from in his dreams. 

Splashing ice cold water on his face did nothing to calm the tremors that wracked his body; he dried his face with one of the cleaner-looking motel towels next to the sink. This wasn’t fair. Why did these things keep happening to him? He knew he wasn’t a good person; that he’d brought the Apocalypse on the world – and anyone who did that deserved punishment – but it hurt. He couldn’t stand how he felt all the time now: scared – _terrified_ \- of waking up to find out his nightmares weren’t nightmares anymore. He pressed his back against the door and slid down to the ground, bringing his knees up to his chest. Wrapping his arms around his legs, Sam tried to calm his breathing and keep himself from completely breaking down. So far he hadn’t done a great job of keeping it from happening, but his brother was right outside the door and if Sam started sobbing or hyperventilating, there would be no hiding it from Dean. So he forced himself to breathe deeply, in and out, until the world looked less tilted and he thought he’d be able to control himself again. 

His brain finally kicked back in, his rationality having previously abandoned him in favor of instinct to hide, and he realized how idiotic it was for him to have hidden in the bathroom. To have thought of running out of the motel. Gabriel was an _archangel_. He could just snap himself into the room. And really, Sam couldn’t have run far enough to hide, assuming their rib sigils even worked against Gabriel anymore, before Gabriel would have caught up to him. The sound of voices carried through the door behind him and he felt himself stiffen when he recognized one as Gabriel’s. But he couldn’t make out any of the words. The tone didn’t sound as threatening as he’d feared it would, but in his nightmares there were times when Gabriel spoke to him like he had when they were together, alone and happy. It never seemed to stop him from returning to the use of his sneering tone, like Sam was the worst thing in the world to have been with. 

And hell, he probably was. All anyone had to do was look at his track record with relationships. He’d gotten Jess killed, however unintentional it had been, killed Madison himself. Ruby had been a manipulative bitch who’d figured out easily how to use him, twist him all around. He hadn’t let himself think like this before, didn’t want to let whoever was getting into his dreams win; because he wasn’t one hundred percent sure that Lucifer wasn’t somehow involved – even if the devil was the one who saved him every night from Gabriel’s cruel words and actions, trying to comfort him afterwards – because it _could_ have all been a trick of his. 

But now he _was_ thinking about everything and it all made sense. Why Gabriel didn’t have a problem hurting him, why he had ended things. Sam ran his hand down across his face, breathing deeply once more to keep his newly formed tears from falling – he _needed_ to get control of himself. Gabriel was right outside the door, could snap into the room – or, hell, snap Sam out of the bathroom to the main room even – and he couldn’t let Gabriel or Dean see him like this. 

He shook his head roughly and pushed his hand through his hair, realizing he could probably use a shower after all the digging in that cemetery earlier; he couldn’t bring himself to risk taking his clothes off with Gabriel in the motel, though. Really, he needed to get up, walk out of the bathroom and face whatever was coming. Because if the archangel wanted to do something, there wasn’t anything Sam, or Dean, could do about it. And he just wanted to get whatever was coming, get it over with. Maybe if Gabriel brought it about while he was awake, he’d actually get to sleep tonight. 

He ran his hand down his face one more time, and stood from his spot on the ground, unfolding his sore limbs. Sighing, he looked once more at his reflection. At least he didn’t look like he’d been in the room crying. He released a shaky breath and turned to unlock the door. There was no use hiding, and maybe if he showed Gabriel that he’d won – showed him that he’d accomplished his goal in creating a broken hearted Sam; _a broken_ Sam, he thought despairingly – the archangel would leave him alone. 


	7. Chapter 7

Gabriel thought he’d prepared himself for every reaction Sam might have upon seeing him: anger, or at least mild irritation, confusion, to be ignored completely or some quiet attempt at civility. What he hadn’t expected, ever, had been Sam avoiding eye contact and running into the bathroom to get away from him. In his mind, Sam wanted Gabriel out of his space, sure, but he figured Sam would do whatever he could to make _Gabriel_ leave. Not lock himself away in another room. He stood, open mouthed, staring at the door in what felt suspiciously like shock. There was very little in the world that could truly surprise him, and Sam had managed to do just that.

Dean practically snarling in his face brought him out of his stunned stupor; though the older Winchester seemed to realize that pushing his way into an archangel’s space wasn’t the most intelligent idea. But really, Gabriel couldn’t imagine getting angry at the human when he knew _he_ was the one at fault. He’d been the one to end his and Sam’s relationship, after all. Finally Gabriel snapped out of his thoughts and back to the situation at hand. Dean was still glaring at him, though to the hunter’s credit he was waiting on Gabriel before saying anything else. 

He felt the guilt showing on his face and knew he’d have to come clean to Dean about the break-up; the fact that Sam hadn’t told Dean the night it happened didn’t make any sense to the archangel. Sam looked livid with him… Gabriel thought he’d take the first possible chance to get Dean against the Trickster again – that thought now only served to make him feel even guiltier, because Sam wasn’t that kind of person. But he’d seen the realization in Sam’s eyes that the Trickster had only ever been horrible to them, that they couldn’t work after everything Gabriel had done, so he just assumed Sam’s feelings about him would go back to what they’d been before the angel decided to join Team Free Will. 

So he’d been more than a little surprised when he hadn’t even been called on to hear the wrath of Dean Winchester, if for nothing else than to ream him for all the crap he’d done to them in the past. But then he’d just convinced himself it was _because_ Sam agreed with his reason for the split, even if it hurt to think that Sam could so easily be over it. But Sam’s reaction to him this time around certainly didn’t point to being completely all right with everything. 

He took a deep, unnecessary breath and blew it out slowly. He really didn’t want to get into this with Dean, but he planned on helping the brothers out more in the future – which couldn’t be done if he had to avoid Dean on _top_ of avoiding Sam. 

“He’s… avoiding me,” Gabriel said quietly, averting his gaze from the older Winchester. He waited a moment in silence before finally looking back at Dean. The hunter looked completely bewildered his brow furrowed as he tried to figure out what the archangel meant. 

“And _why_ exactly would he do that?” Dean asked slowly. Gabriel thought it looked like he was piecing a puzzle together. That wouldn’t have seemed weird, since he sort of was, but it didn’t _feel_ like they were really on the same page here. Sure, they were both trying to figure out what was going on with Sam’s behavior, but it looked like Dean had more on his mind that just this night. He couldn’t dwell on it, though; he had a question to answer. 

The archangel sighed, _really_ not wanting to go into this. He found himself wondering again why Sam hadn’t told his brother after it happened. But he decided to try figuring that out later; he couldn’t handle that on top of everything else right then. Gabriel sat down on Sam’s bed again, facing Dean’s bed and the large, curtain-covered window. He watched as Dean sat on the other bed across from him so they were facing each other again. 

“We’re not..,” Gabriel stopped, clearing his throat before continuing. “We’re not together anymore,” he finished quietly. 

“Not together? As in..?” 

“We broke up,” Gabriel answered bluntly, barely reining in his wince at his own words. 

Across from Gabriel, Dean’s eyes had gone wide before he closed them and ran his hand down his face. The hunter sighed and rubbed his eyes roughly, then looked back at Gabriel. The former-Trickster couldn’t keep his confusion off his face when the oldest Winchester didn’t try to take a swing at him – didn’t even look like he wanted to. He looked like he understood – which, okay sure, it might explain why Sam had avoided him and everything, but why wasn’t Dean trying to take his head off? 

Gabriel was busy trying to work out exactly what the meant when the hunter spoke. 

“That actually explains a lot,” he breathed out, quietly, as though speaking to himself more than to Gabriel. 

_Explains a lot of what?_ – the archangel thought. What would need more explanation than Sam’s reaction to him before? He couldn’t really have missed _that much_ , could he? 

He was about to ask as much when he heard the bathroom door opening slowly behind him. 

Gabriel stood at the same time as Dean and turned to see Sam slowly making his way out of the bathroom; the younger hunter was looking at the ground, his head bowed enough to keep his eyes hidden beneath his bangs. The archangel was used to seeing Sam hunch over in an attempt to make himself appear smaller, but this just felt different. He’d never seen the Winchester act that way around _him_. Even when he ended things between them, Sam had looked him right in the eye. 

But he didn’t this time. He stood there in front of Gabriel and Dean looking like he was about to face a firing squad. Gabriel couldn’t stand seeing his human that way – _when did he start thinking of Sam as_ his _again?_ The archangel took a small step toward Sam but stopped when the youngest Winchester tensed more, taking a matching step back. It just wasn’t right, wasn’t normal and he needed to say something, do something to get Sam to look at him. 

“Sam, I –“ 

“Please... please just go,” Sam’s soft plea cut off Gabriel’s words. Not that he’d have been able to push them past the lump formed in his throat at catching the raw, unguarded look in Sam’s eyes when they finally lifted to meet Gabriel’s. He didn’t know what to do to make this better; he just wanted to make everything better. Sam looked so _broken_ standing there in front of him, so small and Gabriel didn’t know how to bring the old Sam back. He opened his mouth to try again and Sam shook his head, wetness gathering in his eyes as the hunter spoke again. 

“I just need to be alone for awhile…” 

Gabriel’s heart clenched when he heard the uncertainty in Sam’s voice. Like Gabriel wouldn’t do exactly what he’d been asked to do, if Sam asked it of him? But then, the archangel didn’t have a great track record for listening to Sam in the past; why would Sam expect him to start? He couldn’t stand to see that look, to be the _cause_ of that look on Sam’s face. Gabriel didn’t try to speak again; just snapped himself from the room, _anywhere_ than in that room.


	8. Chapter 8

Gabriel looked around to find himself back at the cemetery; specifically, the plot where they had reunited the bodies of the spirit and its wife earlier. He hadn’t consciously made the decision to end up here; he’d just snapped… fled really – _and aren’t I good at running?_ he thought bitterly as he scuffed at the ground with the toe of his shoe. The area around him was dark, but he could still make out the freshly manipulated ground left by the Winchesters. He ran a hand over his face and sat down cross-legged in front of the patch of dirt, running his fingers lightly over it and listened to the quiet surrounding him while his mind seemed to be screaming.

Gabriel just didn’t know what to make of Sam’s behavior – his words, and the tone with which the hunter spoke them. What the _hell_ could have happened in a week to make Sam act like that? Because Gabriel was sure that, even _if_ Sam had been more invested in their relationship than the archangel originally thought, ending it would still _not_ have caused Sam to look at him how he had. But nothing had happened. Nothing _could_ have happened. Neither of the brothers – though Sam probably would have gone to Castiel before Gabriel if earlier had been any indication – had called for help all week. They’d been free of demons, free of Apocalypse-grade catastrophe of any kind. Hell, their hunt of the week had turned out to be just some lovesick, lonely ghost who only wanted its bones to be moved closer to its family. The week had been _quiet_. So what was he missing? 

The patch of dirt refused to give him any answers as he ran his fingers through it, though he stared long and hard at it just in case. Gabriel sighed, long and slow, as he thought over what his next course of action should be. What he _wanted_ to do was wallow in self pity, as far away from the Winchesters as he could get. What he _needed_ to do was check on Sam, see if he could find out what had the kid so rattled. Because people don’t get that bad, that fast, without something or someone pushing them to it. 

Gabriel thought he understood what Dean meant now, though. All of his reflecting over the night allowed him to recall what the older Winchester said while Sam had been locked away in the bathroom. The archangel had been avoiding them for _days_. Which meant that there had probably been signs in Sam’s behavior that he hadn’t witnessed – _something those spirits had seen_ , his mind saw fit to remind him. Though, if Sam _had_ been acting strange, and Dean hadn’t once called on the archangel to see what was going on, then Dean was in for a long talking-to (because Castiel wouldn’t be thrilled if Gabriel actually _did_ anything to the man). Dean obviously thought that the break-up was the cause of Sam acting the way he had. 

That had been his first theory, too, and Sam had looked completely heartbroken when he begged – _God, Sam_ begged _him_ – to leave him alone. It didn’t set right with Gabriel, though. Because, even _if_ Sam’s normal reaction to a break-up was to essentially _break down_ , Sam had also seemed scared, and Gabriel couldn’t imagine that was normal. And, as horrible as the things Gabriel had done to Sam in the past had been, he’d never done _anything_ since joining Team Free Will to earn being looked at so fearfully - especially not by Sam (and in Gabriel’s experience, a person didn’t look _terrified_ when confronted by their ex, unless they were worried about some awkward situation). 

Minutes passed silently as Gabriel lost himself in thought. He pushed his fingers into the ground in front of him, trying once again to figure out what the ghosts had seen in Sam earlier. Anything seemed better to think about than seeing Sam again, seeing how small he’d managed to make himself look. But eventually the need to check on Sam outweighed his apprehension over Sam's reaction. Gabriel stood from the ground slowly and brushed the dirt off of his pants and hands, clearing it all off with a thought, and sent one last look to the plot of dirt below him before snapping himself back to the motel. 

***

The room was dark and quiet when Gabriel returned – though he was able to see a Sam-shaped lump on the bed furthest from the door, could hear the human’s soft breathing. He wasn't all that surprised when he saw that Dean's bed was empty. Sam had made it clear that he didn't want to talk about anything with anyone; he had been talking to Gabriel as he said it, but the angel figured the same had probably been applied to Dean as well. The archangel just hoped that Castiel would be able to take Dean's mind off of Sam and the past week for a bit. Gabriel needed to deal with Sam on his own right now.

It wasn't until he was standing right next Sam's bed that he noticed the way the human was twitching and the lines of discomfort etched on his face. If there was one time of day that Sam should be calm, it should have been while he was sleeping. Gabriel had set up barriers to keep his nightmares at bay, to work against anything Lucifer tried to send at him. But as he watched, Sam's small movements seemed to only become more fitful, the lines on his forehead creasing deeper. 

Gabriel knew he needed to keep himself out of Sam's head, that if Sam reacted so horribly to him in waking life, it would likely be worse if he just popped up randomly in one of his dreams - nightmares if Sam's restlessness was any indication. Not wanting to freak the kid out any more than he already had, Gabriel decided that leaving something to soothe Sam was the best course of action he could take. So he snapped his fingers as softly as he could manage and the next second a small, trumpet shaped pendant appeared in his hand. Since he wanted to stay out of Sam's head, he planned on letting the little charm take care of the problem for him. 

The pendant glowed briefly in his hand as he infused a small amount of his presence within it, before he leaned in to set it down next to Sam. But his close proximity to Sam, only seemed to agitate the human further. Sam's flinch away from him felt like a blow to Gabriel's gut and he could have sworn that his heart broke when he heard the whimper that tore itself from Sam's throat. Apparently, whatever had Sam feeling afraid of him while he was awake had even transferred to when the hunter slept. And that was just too much for the archangel to take. 

He needed to get to the bottom of these reactions Sam kept having to him. And as afraid as Gabriel was of what he'd see when he entered Sam's mind, he knew that he couldn't stay away any longer. He'd done enough with his absence over the week, missing all the signs Sam had been giving off. There was no way he would ignore these new signs as they presented themselves right in front of him. Determined, Gabriel pressed two fingers to Sam's forehead and slipped himself into the kid's mind. 


	9. Chapter 9

Sam was tired. Tired of the pain and tears and humiliation and _everything_. He didn't want to feel any of it anymore, didn't want to have to deal with it. Everything hurt. He didn't try and get up off the ground, couldn't care to muster enough energy to push himself to his feet and pace as he'd done for so many nights before. Gabriel hadn't gripped his hair so tightly to pull him up this time around before Lucifer threw the archangel off of him, so he didn't feel the need to get up on his own.

He could feel Lucifer's eyes on him - could feel the devil crouching over him, hot breath against his cheek, fingers carding through his hair - but didn't open his own to confirm it. Didn't want to and didn't have the energy to. Sam just wanted all of this to be over, wanted Gabriel to stop coming into his dreams and turning them into nightmares. Wanted Lucifer to stop coming in and protecting him every night, making him almost want to trust the devil. Making him hate himself even more for even thinking it in the first place, for almost wanting to turn his head towards the breath at his cheek, to face Lucifer crouched at his side. None of his emotions made any sense to him anymore, they all twisted and churned inside of him and threatened to ooze out. Until he was there, laying on the ground, too tired to care anymore. 

Sam was more than okay with the newfound numbness that flowed through him after Lucifer got rid of Gabriel yet again. He didn't care about any of it anymore. The archangel's words were harsh, his grip against Sam's hip and shoulder as he straddled the human painful, but Sam didn't think about it as he laid on the ground. It was all unwanted, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. All he had to do was wait it out, wait until this dream was finished. Wait until he could wake up and maybe try avoiding sleep this time around. 

It wasn't until he felt Lucifer move away from him, unfolded from his crouching stance at Sam's head, that Sam started to feel something again. He wasn't sure _what_ he was feeling - relief almost, but there was still that bit of fear that gripped him whenever he was in the devil's presence - and so different than the numbness he'd felt only moments before. If he opened his eyes, Sam knew he would see the devil standing right over him. What he didn't expect when he finally looked up was to see Lucifer's eyes wide with something akin to shock - or maybe disbelief, gaze fixed somewhere to Sam's right, across from Lucifer somewhere. 

And all of a sudden that numb feeling Sam had let wash over him was ripped away when he turned his gaze to whatever had Lucifer's attention. Sam's eyes widened in disbelief, and no small amount of fear, when he saw Gabriel standing across the room, fists clenched tight at his sides, lips set in a thin line. The archangel's normally hazel eyes glowed a fiery gold and Sam didn't understand his nightmare anymore. Gabriel had never come to him a second time, Lucifer had always managed to keep him away. He'd never seen Gabriel look so angry, either. The angel had been cruel and hateful, but he'd never appeared as full of wrath before. Sam nearly swallowed his tongue as he gulped and forced his limbs to move. Crawling back as fast as his arms and legs could carry him, he never stopped watching Gabriel - with the look in the angel's eyes, Sam didn't want to risk taking his own eyes off for fear of getting caught even more by surprise. 

***

Gabriel watched in shock as he saw himself straddling Sam, clutching the hunter's hair with a grip that looked agonizingly painful. He felt paralyzed, frozen in one spot, unable to even lift a finger as the other Gabriel taunted Sam; words like 'claiming' and 'pathetic' reaching his ears. And when he turned from the _other_ him to look at Sam he noticed the tear tracks streaked across his cheeks but saw how the man seemed unfocused, seeing and hearing nothing around him anymore. Gabriel tried not to think of how long this must have been going on for Sam to look so detached from what was being done to him.

Then, just as the _other_ started digging the hand not fisted in Sam's hair onto Sam's hip - just before Gabriel rushed forward to throw the imposter off of _his_ human - someone beat him to it. An invisible force flung the imposter off of Sam before he got the chance. Gabriel nearly sighed in relief until he saw how Sam just closed his eyes, didn't attempt to move from his spot on the floor. Finally his body's shocked immobilization wore off as he felt his legs beginning to move towards the human on the ground. He didn't get more than a step before the one who must have gotten rid of his imposter walked over to Sam and Gabriel stopped dead in his tracks. _Lucifer_. 

He watched as his brother crouched over _his_ Sam, eyes intent on the human's tear streaked cheeks, and he zeroed in on how the devil's fingers were In. Sam's. Hair. And how Sam didn't push him away; didn't even react to the presence of the _devil_ leaning over him, _touching_ him. Touching what wasn't his to touch. 

The whole scene unfolding before him, the _familiarity_ Sam seemed to have with Lucifer's actions snapped something inside of Gabriel. His blood boiled at the thought of having left Sam unprotected for a _week_. Having let Lucifer manipulate him for so many days; hadn't even _thought_ to reinforce his defenses before leaving Sam, even after planning on avoiding the human for as long as possible. And Lucifer's fingers were _still_ in Sam's hair. 

It was like a switch flipped. There was nothing of the Trickster in Gabriel as he stepped forward and allowed his presence to be felt by his brother. His wings flickered into sight, huge and trembling with the wrath flowing through his entire being. He was the archangel Gabriel, wholly and undeniably for the first time in millennia, righteous fury rolling off of him in waves. Fingers clenched tight at his sides, Gabriel took another step towards Lucifer, just as his brother stood and backed away from Sam. The way Lucifer's eyes widened, his eyebrows raised in disbelief wasn't enough to allow Gabriel to adopt his trademark smirk; he could feel the way his lips pulled back in a snarl, just barely resisting the rage-fueled urge to bare his teeth. His attention was drawn from his brother as he walked towards him when a sudden movement caught his attention. Sam crawled backwards away from him, his eyes widened and Gabriel saw how terrified the human was. It only served to make him angrier. 

"What did you do to him?" Gabriel demanded as he returned his attention to his brother. Lucifer's vessel had lost the look of sheer disbelief at Gabriel's appearance. His lips were upturned in a smug smirk as he looked to Sam briefly then back up to Gabriel. 

"Me? All I did was comfort him after you broke his heart. How is that wrong? Surely it isn't any worse than anything you've done to the boy?" 

Gabriel watched as Lucifer took step after step closer to Sam while he spoke. The former Trickster wasted no time in closing the distance between him and Sam, blocking Lucifer's path and view of Sam. He didn't miss the way Sam flinched away from his presence, nor did he miss the small sound of distress the human made when he spoke, "Comforting him? So you… what? Worm your way into Sam's mind and manipulate him into thinking _I'm_ the one causing the damage?" 

"You _did_ cause the damage. How else would I have been able to get in here, if you didn't do something to make the walls you set up so easy to get around?" Lucifer answered, his smug smirk still planted firmly on his face. 

And that was it. Gabriel wasn't going to just stand in Sam's dreamscape with Lucifer spinning his words to make it seem like Gabriel _wanted_ any of this. And if Sam's reaction to the devil's words - Gabriel _felt_ Sam's shaking increase - was any indication, Sam believed him. So Gabriel was done talking, he could get the full story from his human _after_ he dealt with his brother. 

The air around the Gabriel crackled with tension as his anger grew. He opened up his right hand for a second before his fingers closed around the hilt of his blade as it materialized in his grasp. No longer was Gabriel going to let his brother get away with hurting his human. Lucifer had been given too much opportunity for it already and Gabriel planned on keeping the devil away from _his_ human in any way he could. 

He watched as Lucifer took a step away from him as his sword appeared. The smirk that had recently been lost to Gabriel in all of his wallowing was back in full force at the sight of Lucifer's eyes widening yet again, this time in understanding of just what Gabriel planned to do. The Angel of Judgment may have not wanted to get into the battle between Heaven and Hell to begin with, may not ever have wanted to see his brothers fighting each other again, had certainly never wanted to fight any of them himself. But he couldn't stay on the side of it anymore. Tension growing thicker between Gabriel and his brother, so heavy Gabriel could practically taste it on his tongue, and he gave one last smirk before lunging forward. 

***

Sam listened to Gabriel and Lucifer's exchange but couldn't bring himself to lift his head from his knees; there was no way he wanted to see whatever was inside either archangel's eyes. It was bad enough that Gabriel had shown up a second time at all; but he then proceeded to confuse Sam even more than he'd done all week. Because now he stood across from Lucifer - Sam could _feel_ Gabriel's presence pressing in on him, enough to press against Sam, making it almost difficult to breathe - and acted as though it _had_ all been Lucifer. And, _God_ , did Sam want that to be true more than anything, even if the whole situation was _beyond_ disturbing. It all sounded so good to hear how angry Gabriel's words to Lucifer were, comforting to hear that it was all just manipulation, like everything else in his life, but manipulation that could hopefully be prevented, as his nightmares had been before.

But then Lucifer spoke again, sounding less shocked than he'd been when Gabriel appeared, and more than a little smug. And Sam could feel his hope that it had all been the work of the devil fall at his words, because they were true; Gabriel had to have _let_ Lucifer into his mind somehow, had to have let the defenses he'd set up in Sam's mind loosen, let them slip. There was no stopping the shudder that worked through his system as that thought sunk in. 

Then there were no more words as the air around him became charged, filling with tension and power. The hairs on his neck and arms stood straight up and he was sure that if he looked up, he'd see two very angry, very powerful archangels preparing for fighting of a non-verbal variety; keeping his head down seemed like the much more appealing option. He gripped his legs tighter, pulling them against himself as much as he could when he heard Gabriel move forward. Sam's body tensed, part of him still terrified that the former Trickster had decided to come after him yet again. 

The tension slowly, _very_ slowly, began ebbing from his body when nothing happened to him and he heard what must have been Gabriel and Lucifer battling against one another, clashing together. There was no brilliant light, so he thought it was safe to assume they were both still ensconced in their vessels, though that didn't mean he planned to lift his head and witness the battle in his near future. It _did_ mean, however, that he could hear each grunt, each exhalation of breath that neither angel should need and that he could hear their words when the two finally spoke once again. 

"Why do you care so much, brother? If you had cared so deeply before, you never would have allowed me access again. And yet, here I am. His body is mine, Gabriel. There is no way you can truly believe otherwise." Lucifer sounded oddly out of breath, and Sam couldn't help but hear a tone of voice he'd never heard from the devil before. He no longer sounded smug; if Sam didn't know any better he'd think Lucifer's tone held an edge of desperation. And Sam's previous idea of staying hidden behind his legs sounded less appealing as his curiosity was piqued. He didn't move, but he certainly considered it. Especially when he realized that he wasn't even sure whose side he was on, which brother he wanted to win this battle. 

Because if Lucifer had been right the whole time he'd been in Sam's mind - and Sam was fairly sure he remembered the devil once promising he would never be lied to - then Gabriel winning didn't bode well for the hunter. But even if this Gabriel was just looking to hurt him again, Sam couldn't help but think that it might still be better than Lucifer winning. Because the Trickster had never expressed a desire for Sam to say 'yes' in this nightmare and Sam was sure that if Lucifer somehow came out on top in this, Sam stood no chance at holding out any longer. 

He was, perhaps mercifully, jostled out of his thoughts by Gabriel's answering voice. 

"That's where you're wrong, _brother_ ," he spat the word like it left a bad taste in his mouth, "The _only_ reason you were able to slip past my defenses was because I was reckless. I was stupid enough to let him go and my little pity party allowed some kind of crack or dent or _whatever_ for you to slither your way though. But I can _assure_ you, you won't get the chance again. You see, I've learned from this little mistake here. And there's no way I'm letting you get the hands on the man _I_ love just so you can continue on with your tantrum and destroy the world," 

Sam's head snapped up, eyes focusing intently on Gabriel. 

"So fuck off, bro. You don't get to touch what's _mine_ , not anymore." 

Sam watched with wide, unbelieving eyes as Gabriel surged forward and drove his blade through Lucifer's vessel, his normally hazel-colored eyes shining an intense gold, flickering wings twitching as they stretched out from his back. Lucifer's eyes masked none of his disbelief, his unasked question of how his brother could have gotten the drop on him before darting them to look at Sam. The hunter uncurled himself slightly from the wall and didn't break eye contact with the devil in front of him. He would have watched until the life went out of his vessel's eyes had Gabriel not screamed at him to close his own. Just as Sam shut his eyes, bright, blinding - and now Sam understood Gabriel's command - light burst, filling the room. Sam threw his arm over his eyes and held his breath, not sure that he'd be able to take in any oxygen anyways through the chaos of what had just happened in his dreamscape. 

After what felt like an eternity, but in reality was probably only seconds, the light died down to nothing and Sam heard a thump that prompted him to uncover his face and open his eyes. He saw Lucifer's body on the ground at Gabriel's feet, the ash outline of wings spread on each side of the fallen angel. The electric charge no longer hung in the air; his uneven, shaking breaths the only sound in the room. He felt transfixed, unable to look away from the now-empty vessel lying in the middle of his dreamscape. A hand resting gently on his shoulder jolted him enough to look away, but when his eyes fell on Gabriel, Sam couldn't help the way he flinched out of the archangel's grasp or how he shuffled backwards, creating distance between them before he tried standing. Sam didn't miss the flash of hurt in the once-more hazel eyes, but he still wasn't sure where he and Gabriel stood and he didn't know if this was yet another trick. 

What he _did_ know was that he felt even more exhausted than he had all week, but he didn't want to be in this room any longer. Gabriel lifted his hand to snap - causing Sam to flinch once more - and Sam woke to find himself in the motel room he remembered falling asleep in, only he was no longer laying on his back. He was curled up against a body he hadn't felt beside him in what felt like the longest week of his life. 

He didn't know what he was supposed to do. His whole body was tense, waiting for whatever the archangel would throw at him next, but the only thing Sam saw was Gabriel lifting two fingers, slowly enough the keep his twitch away from them minimal, and pressing them gently against his forehead. 

"Sleep, Sammy. We'll talk about this in the morning." 

And Sam wanted to protest. Wanted to move out of Gabriel's arms before he even _thought_ about going back to sleep. Hell, he wanted to know what the _hell_ had just happened inside his head. But he was exhausted and the angel's mojo put him out before he could voice any of his objections. 


	10. Chapter 10

Things came to Sam gradually as he woke up the next morning. The first thing that registered in his sleep-addled mind was the light shining in the room: how it was just bright enough to be noticed even through his closed eyelids. Next, he noticed warmth enveloping him - not stifling - just enough to leave him feeling boneless and comfortable.

After letting the light and heat soak through him, Sam finally picked up on the feeling of fingers running through his hair, nails scratching softly against his scalp. He almost let himself get lost in the comforting gesture, his body slowly relaxing back into sleep, until he finally remembered. 

Remembered Lucifer slowly carding fingers through his hair after every encounter with Gabriel, whispering words of comfort to him, wearing him down until there was no stopping himself from just letting it happen. The memories had him flinching away from touch like he hadn't let himself do in his nightmares. Only when he felt the fingers move out of his hair did he notice the warm chest his head was resting on, the strong heartbeat he felt under his cheek. When Sam looked up, his eyes widened as they landed on Gabriel’s face, staring down at him, hazel eyes soft and concerned. 

It hit Sam then that he was awake. Gabriel was holding Sam to him, but he didn’t feel trapped in the archangel’s arms like he had in his nightmares. The angel didn’t grab hold of his hair and rip at it until it hurt, didn’t even touch his head after Sam tensed. And even knowing who they belonged to, the arms around him, holding him, felt good enough that Sam really just wanted to let sleep take him again. But he couldn't let himself relax into Gabriel's embrace; not after he'd been hurt so much, not until he got an explanation. So Sam sat up, shuffling to the other side of the bed and leaning slightly against the headboard behind him. He looked around the room, reassuring himself that it _was_ the room he fell asleep in the night before. The same rickety table stood past Dean's bed, near the window. Same horrible checkered wallpaper; Sam hadn't really noticed how bad the room actually looked until then. But as he took in his surroundings, he was missing something. 

"Where's Dean?" he asked, angling himself to face Gabriel. Sam's voice felt rough, like he hadn't spoken in a while. He hadn't realized until then just how little talking he'd done that week. 

Gabriel shifted up against the headboard, turning so they could face each other from opposite sides of the bed. "He just went out to get some breakfast. We need to get food in you; you're looking a little thin there, kiddo." 

_Not like eating is all that appealing after being dumped_ , Sam thought angrily, wrapping his arms around himself. And food didn't sound all that great while he was stressing over what would happen when he went to sleep, either. 

Gabriel sounded so casual, like nothing had changed. Like he hadn't just fought the _Devil_ the night before. Sam unwrapped his arms from his chest, resting them stiffly at his sides as his hands curled into tight fists. He couldn't believe how Gabriel was acting after the hell Sam had been through that week, as though it all hadn't happened. And that was really more than Sam could handle. 

"What the _hell_ happened last night, Gabriel?" he demanded, anger flaring inside him at Gabriel's nonchalance. 

When Gabriel shifted on the bed again, Sam moved further from him and as close to the edge of the bed as he could without falling over the side. The idea of Gabriel getting any nearer to him caused him to tense all over again, heart beating quicker in his chest. He saw the flash of hurt in the archangel's eyes at his actions, but Sam wasn't going to apologize. There was no use in dwelling on any of that if this was all just another mind game designed by the former Trickster to mess with him some more. 

Gabriel sighed across from him, but stopped his movements and looked Sam in the eye, sadness swirling in the hazel depths. "No, Sam. This _isn't_ a mind game." 

Sam narrowed his eyes angrily at Gabriel, "You think that you could, I don't know, stay _out_ of my head? 'Cause, honestly, I think it's the _least_ you could do for me right about now." 

The expression on Gabriel's face looked pained: his brow scrunched forward, mouth turned down into a frown. The angel's eyes looked suspiciously wet when they focused on Sam once again, "If I'd bothered to look into your mind at _all_ this week, none of this would have even happened, Sam. So, no, I can't - _won't_ \- stay out of your head. I'm not going to risk _anything_ like that happening to you ever again. And if that means you lose a little bit of your privacy, then I'm sorry, but I _refuse_ to let anything get by me like that again." The angel's words, which had been sharp and loud, softened as he finished, eyes glancing away from Sam sadly. "This way I know what's going on in that huge head of yours," Gabriel continued, words barely audible as he all but whispered them. " _This_ way I can help you, answer the questions you want answered and I can make sure you understand what I tell you. This way I can keep you from blaming yourself for any of this crap." 

Sam averted his gaze, staring at the bed below him rather than at the angel in front of him. He could feel tears prickling at his eyes again and he really wanted nothing more than to just be anywhere else in that moment. Because who else could he really blame? He _wanted_ to put it all on Lucifer and Gabriel, but if _he_ had put up more of a fight then it never would have gotten so messed up. He blinked a few times, thankful that his eyes were under control again. Crying was _not_ on his to-do list of the day. 

To make it all worse, Sam wasn't even allowed to wallow in his head for fear of Gabriel listening in. Wasn't it bad enough that he'd had archangels messing with him all week while he slept? Now he had to cope with the knowledge that Gabriel would be in his head for the foreseeable future. As Sam picked at the threads of the worn comforter beneath him he thought about someone combing through his mind, his emotions - it was a terrifying prospect for him, especially given that he had no control over it. And his shoulders sagged under the weight of realizing that he had never really had any control. He felt like shrinking into himself, like maybe that dreamscape hadn't been quite as horrible as he'd thought compared to being awake. Untangling his fingers from the thread of the comforter, Sam crossed his arms over his chest protectively again. It was all he could do to hold himself together when he felt so cracked, like everything was falling apart. 

Gabriel's sigh reached his ears, but Sam refused to look up. Rather than unfolding his arms from across his chest, he brought his knees up closer to his body and tucked his legs between his arms and his chest as he leaned more of his weight against the headboard. Gabriel sat across the bed on Sam's left side. The hunter's eyes never left the motel's dingy mattress beneath him. Sam started slightly when Gabriel spoke again. 

"I didn't..." he started. Sam heard Gabriel clear his throat before continuing, "I didn't realize... Fine. Just... if you promise that you'll talk to me, answer my questions, I promise I'll stay out of your head. I can see why that would make you uncomfortable considering the week you've had... We just need to talk about this. I figure you've got your own questions for me, too. So, just promise that we're talking about it." 

Sam didn't say anything for a long time. He just sat, gripping his knees tight while staring at the bed as he let Gabriel's words sink in. Would it really be so bad talk about what had happened to him? Clenching his hands around his legs, Sam tentatively looked up to meet Gabriel's eyes. The hunter still wasn't sure that he could trust the angel to keep his word, didn't know what he would find behind Gabriel's eyes, but he needed to put this behind him. And he couldn't do that unless he faced everything. 

When their eyes met, Sam saw nothing like what he'd seen in his nightmares. The hazel orbs were warm with concern and reassurance. But there was something else hiding there, and the hunter would have sworn it was guilt. Slowly, Sam relaxed his hands and uncurled himself. With his legs no longer pressed to his chest, Sam turned so that he was once again facing Gabriel, determined to see this through. The longer he allowed himself to look, the surer he became that the look in his eyes was a guilty one - Sam should know, he saw it every time he looked in the mirror. But which part of this mess did the archangel feel guilty over? 

Sam never got an answer to his question and took that as Gabriel keeping his side of the agreement. He cleared his throat, ready to uphold his side of it. 

“Was it you?” he asked quietly. When he was met with a raised eyebrow and a head tilt slightly reminiscent of Castiel, Sam elaborated, “Were you the one who…” He cleared his throat unable to actually say the words, “Or was it really Lucifer?” 

“It was really Lucifer, Sam. I promise, I would _never_ do that to you.” 

Sam didn’t mention all the times Gabriel had hurt him or his brother before he decided to join their side. It wouldn’t do any good, and he’d long since forgiven the archangel. But the fact that it had happened before left enough room for doubt in Sam’s mind that the question had to be asked. His fingers went back to pulling at the blanket beneath him, but he kept his eyes on Gabriel’s as he spoke again. “Then why do you look so guilty, if it wasn’t you who was hurting me?” 

Gabriel’s eyes widened and any other time Sam would have laughed at the incredulous look he’d been given, but that wasn’t an appropriate reaction this time around. They sat in silence once more, though Sam thought that it didn’t feel quite as heavy as it had before. It felt almost charged as he waited for Gabriel to answer his question. 

“I should have known!" Gabriel finally burst. "I should have and I didn’t! Lucifer slipped through the wards I set up for you and that never should have happened. But it did. And _I_ didn’t see it! It took me a week - a _week_ , Sam - to see that there was something going on. The possibility never even crossed my mind until I saw the way you reacted to me. Hell, even then I didn’t even think it could have been him.” 

“How did he do it?” Sam asked, just as quietly as before, so different from the near-yelling Gabriel had been doing. He was still looking straight at Gabriel, though the archangel had moved his gaze to the space on the bed between them. 

“He shouldn’t have even been able to.” It looked like Gabriel was talking more to himself than to Sam until he looked back up and met Sam’s eyes once more. “It wasn’t possible for him to just be able to go into your mind without me knowing. Nobody should be able to hurt what’s mine without my knowledge.” 

Sam inhaled sharply. His mind hadn’t even grasped that Gabriel had claimed Sam as his. All he could focus on was the impossibility of Lucifer getting into his mind without Gabriel being aware. 

“How can you say you didn’t know what was going on and then say that you _would_ have known, Gabriel? Because that still sounds to me like you must have let him do this.” 

"I didn't _let_ him do anything, Sam! I swear to you that I didn't know what was happening. He shouldn't have been able to sneak past those defenses, especially without alerting me. I'm sorry that I let my emotions get the best of me. I shouldn't have let the wards crack..." Gabriel sighed and continued, voice quiet and tired. "When we broke up, I let my guard down. I allowed myself to wallow and Lucifer used that vulnerability against you, and I'm sorry." 

The angel was blaming this on him? On the fact that they broke up? Sam stared in disbelief at Gabriel, his eyes narrowing at the archangel as he tried to control his temper. It was no use. He'd been through so much that week that Sam was honestly surprised he'd sat as calmly through Gabriel's explanation as he had. 

"You 'allowed yourself to wallow'?" he spat angrily, ignoring the way Gabriel's eyes widened again in shock at the tone of his voice, "You break up with me because of Mystery Spot, because I was too damn pathetic or worthless or idiotic or whatever you want to call it, and now you're blaming this whole week on me, too? What the hell, Gabriel?" Sam pushed himself off the mattress and paced back and forth by the edge of the bed. "I get that I went dark side after I failed to learn your lesson. I couldn't see past my grief and anger and decided to get revenge even though you tried to warn me before all of that happened. But even all that doesn't give you the right to blame this on me." 

Gabriel sat for a moment, mouth slightly agape, brows furrowed as he seemed to let Sam's words wash over him. "Blame you? What crazy thoughts are running through that head of yours, Winchester? I'm not blaming you for this. I was blaming _me_. It was _my_ fault." He made a move to stand, but Sam couldn't keep himself from twitching slightly away at the movement and Gabriel stayed seated on the bed. "You've got this all wrong, Sam. You are _not_ pathetic _or_ worthless. Why the hell would you think that was the reason I broke up with you?" 

"The book, Gabriel. I found the book. You _told_ me that Mystery Spot was the reason behind ending it. What else could you have meant?" Sam shifted closer to the bed, but didn't sit down yet. The room was starting to feel warm, closed-in, but he needed to hear what Gabriel had to say. Needed to believe that maybe it wasn't all his fault. 

"I killed your brother!" Sam saw Gabriel wince slightly at his own words, though the angel seemed unable to look at him. "I killed him over a hundred times, Sam. I sent you into TV Land and got him shot _again_. I turned you into a car and tried to get you both to say yes to my brothers. I _knew_ , okay? I knew that you'd remember all of that eventually. That you would _realize what_ I was - _have been_ for so long. You'd leave and I couldn't stand it. I thought that if I left before it got to that point we'd both be better off." Gabriel snorted and rolled his eyes. "We see how well that plan worked out, huh?" 

Sam slowly sat back on the mattress across from Gabriel and looked hard at the angel. He wanted to believe this was all a trick. Just another way to get him to let his guard down long enough for the archangel to attack him with something yet again. But Sam kept staring, and as Gabriel's gaze moved to meet his, the man's face looked so pained, lines etched across that shouldn't have been there, that Sam couldn't help but thinking maybe he was being at least partially truthful. And if Gabriel really wanted to mess with Sam, he wouldn't need to try and get his guard down again. He was an archangel, and archangels could do nearly anything they wanted. So Sam kept his eye contact and felt his gaze soften the longer he took in how earnest Gabriel seemed. And when Gabriel shifted closer to him, Sam didn't flinch or move away; just kept his eyes locked with the angel's. 

"Did you really kill Lucifer last night?" Sam hated asking the question, but he needed to know that he wasn't imagining things. That it wasn't another one of the Devil's manipulations against him. 

"Yes." Gabriel didn't even flinch at the admission of killing his own brother. Sam couldn't help but feel confused. Only minutes before he'd looked broken at the memory of killing _Dean_ , and he hadn't even liked Dean then. 

When Gabriel joined their side, he'd made it clear that he wouldn't kill his own brother. Dean had been unlivable for a while, but Sam had understood. There was no way he could ever bring himself to kill Dean and they'd all known from experience that Dean didn't have it in him to kill Sam. 

"Why?" It was an important question, Sam knew, so he didn't ask again or say anything else as he waited for an answer. Gabriel looked like he was debating how exactly to say whatever answer he'd come up with. His gaze turned far away and Sam guessed the angel was probably imagining everything from the night before. 

When Gabriel looked back up at Sam, though, his eyes were no longer focused on something in the past. Rather, they were focused directly on Sam, and the angel looked as determined as he had in Sam's dream. 

Gabriel moved closer to him and didn't stop until he could comfortably rest a hand lightly on Sam's thigh. Sam could feel the heat coming from Gabriel as it seeped through the pants he wore, unable to tear his eyes away from the angel's hand until the weight of Gabriel's gaze finally made him look up. He swallowed thickly when he saw how close their faces were; if Sam leaned slightly forward he would be able to feel every puff of breath from the angel's mouth, but he didn't move. 

"I told you, just like I told Lucifer," Gabriel started, reaching with his other hand to grab the back of Sam's head, fingers curling in the hair at the nape of his neck. "No one hurts what's _mine_. Not without consequences. And Lucifer may have been my brother, but I couldn't let him get away with hurting you, especially like that. I protect the ones I love." 

Sam's breath hitched at the words and the memories of Gabriel's words to Lucifer in his dream. How Gabriel wouldn't let Lucifer get his hands on the man Gabriel loved ever again. His eyes widened slightly as it sank in that Gabriel could be telling the truth. It was Lucifer manipulating him the entire time. 

He felt his eyes well up with tears again: whether because of everything he'd been through the past week or the fact that Gabriel just declared for the second time that he loved Sam, he wasn't sure. 

Suddenly, there were arms wrapped around him and he was being pulled into archangel's chest. Sam burrowed closer, burying his face against Gabriel's neck and breathed deeply. He felt Gabriel shifting them around slowly until Sam found himself being pressed gently back into the mattress, face still hidden against the archangel's shoulder. Minutes ticked by but Sam didn't notice. He let himself get lost in breathing in his angel, feeling safe in Gabriel's arms rather than hurt, and didn't let his thoughts travel to anything beyond the two of them. 

After he calmed himself down, Sam pushed back from Gabriel slightly and looked up at the man on top of him. He could only watch as Gabriel rushed forward and took his mouth. His lips parted on a gasp and Gabriel took full advantage, tongue pressing forward softly. Sam moaned at the touch and the sound seemed to drive Gabriel on. The fingers in Sam's hair tightened slightly while Gabriel's other hand slipped under the hem of his shirt, gliding over the fluttering muscles of his stomach. 

They broke apart when Sam's need for air forced him back. It wasn't until his head hit the mattress beneath him that Sam felt the difference. The bed was larger than it had been only moments before, softer and more luxurious than any motel bed Sam had ever laid on before. He looked up at the man above him, smiling softly at the gesture as he ran his fingers through Gabriel's hair. Finally being with Gabriel again, the familiar weight on top of him was fantastic. Yes, they had only been apart for a week, but with the nightmares and Lucifer, it had felt so much longer. And changing the motel bed into something better was so sweetly _Gabriel_ that Sam couldn't help arching into the hand still resting on his stomach. Didn't try to stop himself from yearning into that touch. 

Gabriel pressed his lips lightly against Sam's again before moving to his cheek, slowly working down Sam's jawline. Sam moaned, fingers clutching Gabriel's back as the angel's teeth scraped at his pulse point, tongue following after, licking away the hurt. He slid his hands down Gabriel's back to push up under his shirt, skin hot beneath his fingertips as they dug into soft flesh. 

Sam felt Gabriel's other hand slide down his side to join the other under his shirt right before it was pushed carefully up. He shivered slightly as his overheated skin was hit by the cooler air but slipped his hands from Gabriel's back to lift his arms. The shirt was pulled from him slowly as the angel mouthed at the skin of his chest and up to his collarbone. Sam pulled Gabriel up when his shirt was finally gone, lips meeting in another heated kiss as he gripped the hem of Gabriel's shirt. 

"Off," he murmured against soft lips. Sam barely waited before he was ripping Gabriel's shirt up and over the angel's head, not caring where it ended up when he tossed it away. He moaned again, skin on skin driving his senses wild. 

They rarely did this. Gabriel was always so impatient; snapping their clothing off was more his style. Gabriel taking his time, undressing Sam himself meant more to the hunter than he ever realized it would. The simple action was enough to make Sam feel cherished; he loved Gabriel making him feel like this. And as Gabriel rid them of the rest of their clothes, Sam wondered how exactly he could deserve any of it. Lucifer's vessel, the one who had been manipulated so easily for as long as he could remember and Gabriel overlooked all of it. Told him that he wasn't pathetic or worthless. Better than that: made him _feel_ like he could have this. 

Sam skimmed his hands over the angel's ribs, reveling in the feel of Gabriel's skin under his hands once again. When he looked up it was to find Gabriel looking straight at him, hazel eyes locked on his own. Any of Sam's remaining doubts faded away at the sight before him: eyes that held no hint of that evil, cruel Gabriel from his nightmares. The man above him was _his_ Gabriel: the one who admitted to loving him. The one that killed the Devil for him. 

Gabriel pressed a soft kiss to Sam's lips before he worked his way down. Sam tilted his head, giving the angel easier access as he mouthed at his jaw and down his neck. The soft glide of lips across his skin continued down his chest until Gabriel's mouth latched onto one of Sam's nipples causing the human to arch up once more, moaning out his pleasure. The scrape of teeth followed by a soothing tongue had Sam hissing out his breaths, hands restless against Gabriel's skin. 

Soon enough the mouth moved on from one nipple to the next and downward until Gabriel swallowed him down whole, causing a yelp to escape Sam's throat. Gabriel pulled back, leaving just the head of Sam's cock in his mouth, and sucked, tongue dipping into the slit. Sam didn't know how he kept himself from thrusting up into that wet heat, but the first touch of slicked fingers at his entrance was enough for him to lose that small bit of control. His hips jerked upwards and pushed back. The fingers kept up their teasing, as did Gabriel's tongue, until Sam was writhing beneath the angel, unable to form a coherent thought. 

When he let himself think about the possibility, Sam had thought that, if he and Gabriel got back together, it would be quick and rough and dirty. But Gabriel took his time, slowly slipping one finger in and stretching as well as he could before adding another. Sam didn't know how he didn't come at the first brush against his prostate. 

Gabriel let Sam's cock slip from his lips as he worked three fingers in and out, brushing over that sweet spot inside him enough to keep Sam on edge, but not so much that Sam lost it completely. This was all so different than what they had ever had before: so much more; and Sam couldn't control what words spilled from his lips. 

"Please, Gabriel... ah... Need... need you..." 

His words cut off into a whimper as Gabriel's fingers slipped out of him. Gabriel crawled up his body and kissed him breathless once more before slowly sliding inside him. Sam moaned, having missed the feel of Gabriel stretching him open while they'd been apart, and wrapped his legs around the angel, digging his ankles in and forcing Gabriel further into him. 

Once fully sheathed, the angel stopped above him, letting Sam get used to the feeling of being full again. Sam ran his hands up and down Gabriel's back, brushing them through the angel's hair as he let himself adjust. Finally, it was too much for him to stay still any longer. 

"Move, _please_ move. Gabriel... _fuck_ ," Sam choked out as Gabriel rolled his hips back and pushed in. Sam's moans continued as Gabriel positioned himself to hit that bundle of nerves inside him with each thrust forward. He clutched at the angel's back desperately, pulling them impossibly closer and he knew he wouldn't last long even with the gentle pace, not with all the teasing Gabriel had done while preparing him. 

At the press of Gabriel's hand against his left hip Sam nearly flinched back, remembering how painful that touch had become in his nightmares. But the grip stayed light and gentle, like Gabriel knew exactly what Sam's reaction would be, and Sam let himself relax completely. He looked into Gabriel's eyes and knew that this was real. This was _his_ Gabriel, the one who loved him and didn't want to hurt him and Sam tightened the hold of his hands on the angel's back as he gave all of his trust - all of himself - to Gabriel. 

Heat bled out from the hand at Sam's hip and his entire body practically hummed in anticipation of this new level they'd reached. Gabriel's eyes over him flashed that intense gold he'd seen the night before, but the ferocity Sam saw in them didn't scare him this time. Sam felt the grace flowing into him from the angel and all he could do was move with Gabriel and clutch restlessly at the skin beneath his hands. 

Suddenly Gabriel's other hand grasped his cock and Sam felt a different kind of heat pooling low in his belly as Gabriel stroked with the rythm of his thrusts. There was no chance of holding on and he was coming with Gabriel's name on his lips before he knew what hit him. His vision whited out for blissful seconds as Gabriel continued to pound into him. All Sam heard was a choked out "Close your eyes, Sam", and he was surprised he'd been able to comply so quickly when he felt so thoroughly fucked out, and then Gabriel was coming inside him with a burst of light that Sam could see even through his closed eyes. Heat seared into his left hip, but somehow never turned painful, leaving Sam feeling warm and comforted and loved. 

The room was silent but for their panted breaths for long moments before Gabriel slowly pulled out of Sam, hands carefully slipping off of the human. Sam missed Gabriel's warmth and weight the second the angel rolled off of him, but before he had the chance to protest arms wrapped around him and pulled him into Gabriel's chest. He let his head rest over the angel's heart as he calmed his breathing to something resembling normal. 

The heartbeat under his head slowed gradually in his ear. 

When Sam finally had enough breath left to speak, he lifted his head from the spot against Gabriel and looked up into the angel's once-more hazel eyes. Sam smiled softly and let his emotions show across his face. "I love you, too." 

Before Gabriel had the chance to do more than smile Sam rushed forward and pressed soft, slow kisses to Gabriel's lips. When he pulled back, he could see the happiness and utter relief in Gabriel's eyes and knew his must have looked much the same. He leaned in for one more kiss before sighing happily and nuzzling into Gabriel's neck. Sam closed his eyes and let the soothing motions of Gabriel's fingers in his hair lull him back to sleep; despite the bright morning sun shining through the cheap motel curtains, dozing in Gabriel's arms was the best sleep he'd had in a long time. Even longer than this week of nightmares. 

Warm and safe and _loved_ , the last thing his mind registered as he drifted off to sleep was the gentle stroke of fingers along the new handprint across his left hip.


	11. Chapter 11

Gabriel held Sam close, continuing the gentle stroking of fingers in the hunter's hair as he slept. He felt like he could breathe again, a thought that had him huffing a laugh considering he didn't _need_ to breathe. But Sam was finally truly _his_ and no one could touch him, no one could ever come between them again. Gabriel had never wanted to push the idea of bonding on the human before, was sure Sam would have assumed it was just to end the Apocalypse rather than because he _wanted_ them to belong to each other. It would be just like the hunter to believe that he couldn't have this with someone for anything other than fixing the world.

Pressing a light kiss against Sam's temple, Gabriel cleaned and clothed the both of them with a thought before tracing the fingers of his free hand over the mark he left on Sam's hip beneath the layer of pajama bottoms the human was now clad in. Reveling in the knowledge of what he and Sam now had, Gabriel relaxed further against the mattress, Sam's puffs of breath light and warm against his throat as the human slept. 

The door opened not more than a half an hour later and Gabriel watched as Dean entered the room, bags swinging off his arms and a beverage carrier in one hand. Gabriel could see how tense the older Winchester was, worried about Sam and whatever had been happening to his younger brother over the week. Especially after he and Gabriel finally talked the night before. And Gabriel knew he should tell Dean about the new developments involving Lucifer soon, but not until after he woke his - _his_ now - human and got him to eat breakfast. 

Sparing a glance down at Sam, Gabriel hated knowing how little Sam had eaten the past week - hell, probably longer than that knowing how the kid always let his guilt eat away at him. Who knew how Sam had decided to punish himself over releasing Lucifer from his cage in the first place - as though being forced to deal with nightly visits from the fallen angel wasn't punishment enough. 

When Dean walked further into the room, setting the bags and drink container on the small motel table, the human nodded to Sam, a question in his eyes. Gabriel was grateful that Dean didn't ask anything out loud, the angel wasn't sure exactly how Sam would react if woken up by someone other than him that morning. Gabriel nodded in response, lifting his hand from Sam's hip to cup the side of Sam's face and rub a thumb across the human's cheek. Even after sleeping most of the night through, and then some more this morning, the underneath of Sam's eyes was still a purple, bruised looking color. Just another sign of how exhausted the young man had been over the week, how little sleep he'd let himself get, how unrestful that sleep had been when he got it. 

Gabriel looked at the bags of food on the table a moment before focusing his attention back on Sam. He hated having to wake Sam, but the human could sleep again when they were done. There wasn't a fallen angel to keep him awake anymore, no more Apocalypse looming overhead for them. And he wasn't kidding when he told Sam he could see that the kid had been losing weight; he could feel Sam's more recently muscular physique becoming slightly lankier, closer to how he'd been when they'd first met back at Crawford Hall. That shouldn't have been happening to Sam in the matter of a week, Gabriel knew; and almost wished he could take Lucifer out again for having pulled out all the stops to wear Sam down. 

Finally, Sam opened his eyes at the sensation of Gabriel's hand over his face, the angel's other hand sliding down and resting at the nape of the hunter's neck. Confused, tired hazel eyes met his gaze, reminding Gabriel just how badly he wished he didn't have to wake his human yet. 

"Wha..? Gabriel? What's wrong?" 

Sam's voice was rough with sleep and he pressed the heel of his hand to his eyes, giving Gabriel the chance to answer before saying anything more. 

"Up you get, kiddo. Food's getting cold." 

He watched as Sam's eyes widened and the human looked down at himself. A chuckle escaped his lips when Sam sighed his obvious relief at being clothed now that his brother was in the motel room with them and he pressed a light kiss to Sam's lips before they sat up together. Sam turned his head away from Gabriel, looking up at Dean from the bed, "So what's for breakfast?" 

A smile twitched at his lips as Sam stood from the bed to sit with Dean at the small motel table. They still needed to tell the elder Winchester about what happened the night before, - he was sure Castiel had sensed it when Lucifer died, like the other angels undoubtedly did - but he decided to take his cues from Sam. And he really needed to make sure his human ate something before they started discussing anything heavier than how to take his coffee. 

From the bed, Gabriel watched as Sam dug through one of the bags, unwrapping a sausage and cheese biscuit. Sam didn't look repulsed by the food in front of him and Gabriel took that as a good sign, though he didn't like the tension his human was still emitting. Even after working through everything earlier that morning, even though they no longer had Lucifer to worry about, Sam was still wound up about something. 

Sam picked at his food, tearing off pieces of the biscuit at a time. When it became clear that he planned on setting the rest of the sandwich down, Gabriel got up from the bed and joined the humans at the table, letting his right hand rest at the back of Sam's neck and squeezed it reassuringly before playing with the curls of hair at the nape. He smiled when Sam relaxed slightly into his touch and took an actual bite of the sandwich, and Gabriel settled back into the comfortable chair he'd snapped into existence. His hand stayed against the hunter's neck, a warm weight he hoped helped Sam relax while the humans continued eating. 

The archangel appreciated Dean not making a fuss over all the physical contact between him and Sam this morning. He noticed the more Sam relaxed each time he brushed his hand over the human's skin, and the more Sam relaxed the more of his sandwich he ate. He figured Dean Winchester wasn't really all that bad of a guy if he could see how his brother reacted to everything that morning and was smart enough to keep anything he might have been thinking to himself. 

Quiet minutes passed, only broken by the crinkling of a candy bar while Gabriel ripped into it and Sam balling up the now empty wrapper, finally finishing his food. Gabriel would have liked to see him eat more, thought about snapping something extra up for him, but he had finally gotten Sam to relax and didn't want to put anymore undue stress on his mate - he couldn't stop his smile at that thought. 

"Where's Cas?" Surprisingly, it was Sam who spoke; voice no longer rough with sleep or shaking with uncertainty. Gabriel's smile grew at the sound of it. 

Dean looked almost as happy and Gabriel could feel a little more of the tension in the room ease. 

"He flew off somewhere earlier. Said he had something he needed to check out. Why?" 

Gabriel had a feeling he knew what his little brother had gone to check on; probably flying around looking for signs that Lucifer was really dead and not just in hiding somewhere. As though Gabriel would have let Lucifer get away after everything the fallen angel had put his mate through. 

Sam looked over at Gabriel and their eyes met for a moment before Sam turned back to look at Dean. Gabriel honestly didn't think Sam would be the one to start this much-needed conversation and he was pretty sure that his smile would be impossible to get rid of; he couldn't help the pride swelling in his chest at how quickly Sam was getting back to his regular self, trying to get everything out in the open now that they had nothing to be scared of anymore. 

Before either could answer, the soft flutter of wings alerted them to Castiel's presence; the angel appearing beside Dean. Gabriel noticed his little brother's intense gaze focused on him and Sam; he wondered if it was because of the angel seeing the bond or sensing Lucifer's demise. Probably both. Gabriel smirked up at his brother, "Speak of the angel. We were just talkin' about you, bro." 

"Is it true?" 

Gabriel felt Sam tense at Castiel's sharp question. This was not how his mate had planned on his brother and his brother's angel finding out, Gabriel was sure. But there wasn't anything they could do about that now. 

Dean turned his attention to Castiel, "Is what true, Cas?" 

Apparently the older Winchester noticed where Castiel's gaze was focused because he turned questioning eyes on them, just a hint of suspicion hidden in the green depths. 

"Yes." 

Gabriel turned wide, proud eyes on Sam as the human straightened in his seat. He slipped his hand over the spot he left his mark, squeezing fingers reassuringly into the sensitive flesh through Sam's pants, even as Sam rested a hand over his thigh. 

His human never ceased to amaze him. After how broken Gabriel had seen him the night before, the archangel hadn't been sure he would be able to fix it himself. And after how Sam reacted to him after he woke up, nervous and angry, Gabriel could only tell the truth and show in the best way he knew how that he loved Sam and would always protect him. Now Sam seemed determined to prove that he wasn't truly broken and Gabriel would have smiled if Dean hadn't interrupted his thoughts. 

"What the hell am I missing here, guys?" 

Castiel finally removed his gaze from Gabriel and Sam and turned it on Dean, though Gabriel saw the blue eyes soften when they landed on the human, "Lucifer is dead." 

Before Dean could do more than widen his green eyes and gape, Castiel continued, "And the last anyone has heard of him was before he supposedly tried to get at Sam. Again." There was another silent pause before Castiel added, corners of his lips twitching up into a near smile, "Though they were loathe to admit the truth." 

"I bet they were," Gabriel snorted, "Don't want to admit that they've lost their chance at _world domination_." His heavily implied air quotes would have to do; he didn't plan on moving his hand from Sam's hip anytime soon. 

"Hold up, here," Dean had apparently recovered enough to speak, brow furrowed in confusion as he looked back and forth at each of them, "You said Lucifer's dead? As in no more Apocalypse?" 

They all nodded, but Gabriel felt how Sam curled slightly in on himself. He thought the reaction was strange and his human didn't so much as twitch at the reassuring squeeze he pressed into his mark; but Gabriel knew better than to go digging around Sam's mind after that morning - there would be time to figure it out later. 

"Seriously? When? How? And how is it that _everyone_ knew before me?!" 

Gabriel watched as Dean looked pointedly at Castiel, like he couldn't believe the rogue angel hadn't said anything to him before - though Dean _did_ seem to think he was entitled to everything going on in Castiel's head at times. 

"I felt Lucifer die, Dean," all of Castiel's attention was on his human and had the situation been anything less serious, Gabriel would have thought they'd gone back to that agonizingly hopeless eye-fucking stage, "I had to be sure what I sensed was true before informing you." 

"Why?" 

"Maybe," Gabriel interrupted, "because it's best not to just assume anything when the Devil is involved. It could have been a trick for all Cas knew and wouldn't it just _suck_ to be told that the Apocalypse was over only to find out later you were misinformed?" 

Dean lowered his head, looking properly chagrined for not having thought of that sooner. But before long he turned back, pinning suspicious eyes on Sam. It was when Dean spoke that Gabriel realized his human reacted the way he had for, if not fear, then wariness of his big brother's reaction to the truth. 

"How did you guys know?" Dean's eyes darted back and forth between Gabriel and Sam, and the Archangel didn't appreciate how tense his mate grew under the scrutiny, the way Sam's fingers tightened on his thigh. "You said _Cas_ couldn't have known whether it was a trick or not. What about you? How do _you_ know what happened?" 

Gabriel met Dean's accusing green eyes head on, voice as serious as it had ever been, "Because I stabbed him through the chest with my own blade." 

The hunter sitting across from him recovered quickly this time, barely a moment spend gaping before his eyes flicked between them again, "You were checking on Sam." 

Their breathing was the only sound in the room while the Archangel watched as Dean put the pieces together. Sam sat still beside him, silent as he'd been since everything started, and Castiel had gone back to gazing intently at the point of contact between Gabriel and the younger Winchester - finally allowing himself to _think_ on it, Gabriel figured. 

" _Where_ did you gank Lucifer?" 

Dean's weary voice broke through the Archangel's thoughts and Sam tensed again, unnoticeable to anyone else in the room as the human tried to appear like himself - from _before_ Lucifer decided to use the kid's mind as his own personal playground. 

There was a beat of silence; Gabriel was tempted to snap up a cricket or drop a pin - before Sam spoke, chin jutted out in a show of defiance that he hadn't shown in the last week, _since the start of the Apocalypse, really_. 

"In my dreamscape, last night." 

Gabriel nearly whooped out loud at the strength in his mate's voice; it seemed Sam wasn't going to let himself stay scared when they were finally free of the toughest enemy they'd ever faced. 

***

"How in the hell could that have happened last night, Sam?! I was only gone for a couple of hours. I didn't leave you alone so you and your angel could go and take on the Devil without any backup. How could you done something so - "

Sam's grip on Gabriel's thigh tightened further during Dean's rant, and he knew Dean was going to ask how they could have done something so stupid. He also knew his brother was right, Sam _had_ been stupid when he didn't tell anyone what was going on with him. But he didn't get the chance to apologize before Gabriel stood, cutting off Dean right before that word was spoken. Sam's hand slid off at the angel's movement, and he hated losing the contact between them, but then Gabriel was speaking, nearly yelling, and Sam's focus was on the former-Trickster's words more than the loss. 

"You might want to pick your words carefully before you finish that sentence, Winchester." 

Dean's jaw shut with an audible click before Gabriel continued. 

"Better," Gabriel glared at Dean and Sam looked between the two of them warily from where he sat, even as Gabriel took his seat once more, "Now, I didn't see either of you stop and take the time to help out, or even _ask_ , what was going on with Sam this week when it was _obvious_ something was wrong." Sam felt the angel's hand move back to his neck, squeezing it gently in what Sam took as an apology for Gabriel not noticing sooner. He leaned back into the touch; he'd forgiven the angel before he'd fallen back to sleep that morning, especially after they'd already gone over why Gabriel hadn't sensed anything himself. There was nothing for Gabriel to apologize for. "Maybe, _just maybe_ , we didn't _go_ after Lucifer like the idiots you seem to assume we are. Maybe _he_ came to Sam." 

All eyes shot to Castiel, whose own eyes were focused entirely on Sam, as he spoke, voice slow and careful to Sam's ears, "Did Lucifer invade your dreams again, Sam?" 

Dean's eyes softened and Sam saw the worry in them as he nodded in the affirmative. He swallowed the lump in his throat, "He found a way back in last week." 

"Why didn't you say anything about it _then_ , Sammy?" Dean's voice was softer than Sam had heard it since they started this conversation, and knowing that his brother wasn't angry, like he'd assumed he would have been, went a long way towards calming the younger hunter's nerves. 

Sam really didn't want to have to explain everything, not after he and Gabriel had gone over so much earlier. Gabriel's fingers playing at the nape of his neck slowly helped him relax enough that he was finally ready to get it over with. But as he opened his mouth to speak, his brother held up a hand, and Sam paused, closing his mouth as he raised his eyebrow curiously. 

Dean stared hard at him for a moment before speaking, "Lucifer's _really_ dead? Dead as a door nail, no way he's coming back from it, right?" 

Sam nodded and glanced at Gabriel, comforted by the matching confused look his lover wore, before focusing his attention on his brother again. He couldn't help but be taken by surprise when Dean's lips stretched up into a grin, white teeth flashing at them. His brother stood and wrapped him in a tight hug before he knew what was happening. Gabriel's hand slid from his neck, but he found he didn't need his lover's support right then, not when Dean was actually _hugging_ him - which only ever seemed to happen after one of them _died_ \- and smiling like he hadn't seen in _years_. 

"Then why aren't we celebrating or something?" Dean let go of him and looked back and forth at their angels while Sam tried to get his bearings again and stared at his brother with wide eyes. The younger Winchester was just about to ask why the sudden change of heart when Dean beat him to it. "Why should we sit here angsting over something we've been trying to do for _years_?" 

And Sam really couldn't, nor did he want to, refute that logic. He smiled and turned to Gabriel as the angel stood and pressed into his side. Wrapping an arm around the archangel's shoulders, Sam pressed a kiss to Gabriel's temple while Dean seemed to try to lift Castiel off the ground with his second hug of the day. 

An arm wrapped around his waist and Sam looked down as Gabriel placed his other hand into the mark at his hip and shuddered; his brother was thankfully too occupied with his own angel to notice Sam's eyes darken as he pressed closer to the angel at his side. Amber eyes met hazel and the hunter never thought he would be glad to see Castiel whisk Dean away for what he knew would be quite the romping session, but it meant he had some more time alone with Gabriel. Time he was more than ready to put to good use. After all, they had plenty of it without an Apocalypse to worry about. 

**END**


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